Forget winning an Oscar, Grammy or, while we're at it, even "American Idol." You're nobody until someone burns your image into a piece of toast.
Controversial "Idol" semifinalist Antonella Barba joined Jesus, Mary and other members of that rarified group recently when someone posted on eBay a piece of Wonder Bread with a crudely rendered picture of the Jersey girl. It cemented Barba's status as the most famous mediocre singing star on the planet ... for this week (see "Sexy Pictures Won't Get Barba Booted From 'Idol' — But Wednesday Night's Song Could").
It was a refreshing break from the nonstop deluge of risqué Barba photos — real and fake — that were posted online over the past two weeks, with the seller tipping his/her hat to the absurd amount of praise the reality-show warbler has gotten for her looks over her singing.
"What a shock to have my morning snack only appear to be an image of the scandalous Antonella Barba's picture on my toast," the seller wrote. "Talk about something from 'The X Files.' The truth is out there, my friends!!!" What's sadder is that, as of press time, 11 people had bid the jokey Barba-ture up to $7.50.
Unfortunately it won't help her stave off elimination, but the cottage industry that's sprung up around Barba has turned the singer into the only "Idol" semifinalist most of America knows by name.
There are more than 30 Barba-related items available for sale on eBay, from a dozen or more compilations of the naughty pictures that recently made her more searched for online than Britney Spears or Anna Nicole Smith, to a scary-looking ink drawing by Canadian artist Robert R. Murray. For a starting bid of $8 (there were no bids when we checked), you can be the proud owner of the piece "Antonella Barba: Just Wanna Be in Pictures," featuring a maniacally grinning image of Barba that looks like a cross between Martha Stewart and Ashton Kutcher.
If fine art isn't your bag, how about a Barba rookie trading card ($9.99) with a sultry image of her in white panties and a North Carolina Tar Heels tank top? There are "Sexy Antonella Barba" pics for sale; photo CDs with more than 80 pictures; and a "My Favorite American Idol" T-shirt that shows a grinning Barba, on the toilet, holding up a handful of toilet paper.
And, if none of those float your boat, there's always the oddest Barba curio, "Luna the Dog's Antonella Barba American Idol Poop Art." Though no one had bid on this gem yet, it was a steal at 99 cents: The log-shaped piece of brown clay is adorned with a piece of toilet paper, microphone, toilet seat that inexplicably has two eyes, star at either end and a sign that reads "Antoiletta Barba." The piece was allegedly "made" by a toy Fox Terrier named Luna.
Cheer up, Sundance Head: Luna's got some love for you too. The "poop art" pooch is also selling a tribute to the Porter, Texas, semifinalist and son of "Treat Her Right" singer Roy Head. The "Sobdance Head" log has a goatee, mic, the stars and a pair of "tears" to mimic those Head sheds whenever someone is kicked off the show.