In the good old days of 2002, MCs diversified their portfolios with clothing and shoe lines, fragrances, soda commercials, restaurants and the occasional vanity record label. But nothing says hip-hop mogul these days like your own reality show. If the Donald and the Martha can do it, why can't Puffy, Dame, and Rev Run?

But not all hip-hop reality shows are created equal. Anyone recall who won the recording contract on the Missy Elliot elimination challenge, The Road to Stardom? How about the name of the lucky lady who was chosen to sing with TLC on R U the Girl? Perhaps it's only Flavor Flav's romp through Strange Love that was entertaining enough to stick in our minds. And as some suspect, that big-ass clock Flav once wore around his neck tells us that he probably used up all 15 minutes of fame dry humping with Brigitte Nielsen.

So let's see where we're at. Here's a breakdown of rap reality shows that stretches from the superfly (Rev Run) to the silly-assed (Diddy).

Rev Run - Run's House

Star: Run-DMC co-founder Joseph "Rev Run" Simmons

The 411: Daily life at the New Jersey mansion of a rap legend and his wife, Justine, and their brood: Ford model Vanessa (22), fashion designer Angela (18), future rap star JoJo (16), basketball prodigy Diggy (10) and scratchy-voiced little man, Russell Jr. (9).

Why It Works: Think of the Simmons as a blend of the Huxtables and the Osbournes. While the Rev likes to offer bromides on the importance of living a virtuous, God-fearing existence to his kids, Vanessa and Angela think nothing of going apartment shopping in the city and sheepishly asking dad if a $32 million penthouse is out of their range. We see the Rev throw a scare into one of Angela's boyfriends, teach his kids the importance of being good sports, and stress the value of hard work. Each show is like a half-hour after-school special with dope beats, and each ends with Simmons submerged in his bubble bath, typing out a spirit-lifting morning affirmation that he emails to hundreds of friends.

Wit and Wisdom: "Life gives to the giver and takes from the taker"; "If you work hard in this life, you will be rewarded. If you take shortcuts, you get cut short."

Damon Dash - The Ultimate Hustler

Star: Hip-hop kingpin Damon Dash

The 411: Jay-Z's former Roc-A-Fella partner Dash is looking to fill a vacant spot in his D.D.H.Q. The winner gets a gig, a nice piece of neck bling, a car and other Dash-aphrenalia. Think "Real World" meets "Survivor" mixed with "The Apprentice," and then factor in tons of plugs for Dash's products.

Why it works: With his "seen it all before" stare and strong bullsh*t detector, Dash out-Donald's the Donald at some points. Challenges serve to not only separate the good from the bad, but also instill in contestants "The Hustler Code" -- rules on bringing street smarts to the board room. Our fave is Rule #920, "Death Before Dishonor." Whether it's boxing matches or competitions to see who can hand out the most Dash Cash at a street ball tourney, the participants are constantly under stealth surveillance by Dame. At one point, he plants an actress in a challenge in order to test the contestant's honesty - to disastrous results, of course.

Wit and wisdom: "You gonna make some money somewhere, but it ain't gonna be here."; "Life is the dash."

Diddy - Making the Band 3

Star: Fashion/hip-hop mogul Sean "Puffy" Combs

The 411: After failing to find the singers he was looking for to front a new girl group, Diddy is back with a fresh crop of backstabbers vying to be the next Destiny's Child.

Why It Works: Like, Dash, Diddy puts the girls through their paces, literally, making them do a six-mile run then perform their dance routine for him on rubbery legs. Flying in on helicopters and pulling up in stretch limos for the eliminations, Diddy - dressed in designer duds and omnipresent dark shades -- also puts his performers out on the street, literally, to sing for their dinner and see who can raise the most amount of money while harmonizing in Times Square. It's like a hip-hop American Idol, only without the boring vocal competitions and twice the backstage drama.

Wit and Wisdom: "If you can make it here, New York that is, you can make it anywhere"; "You gotta believe."

Lyor Cohen - The Biz AOL

Star: Cohen, chairman and CEO of the Warner Music Group

Concept: The hard-charging son of an Israeli Army general is the drill sergeant in this reality elimination challenge, in which the winner gets a chance to climb from intern to president of a new, yet-to-be-named WMG label.

The 411: Showing the radically determined style that has seen him rise from Run-DMC's road manager to the head of one of the world's biggest labels during a 20-plus year career, Cohen puts a scare into his charges. With a mix of puppy dog eyes and intimidating Schwarzenegger croak, he teaches them the ABC's of making it in the music biz. Among the challenges: promote a show by up-and-coming artists Panic! at the Disco and Jimmy Xcross. Watching it on the Web can sometimes be a choppy experience, but even through the jumpy video, Cohen made me nervous.

Wit and wisdom: "I'm not feelin' that"; "Spray yourself with shit detector and keep driving ... Great artists, they're the hardest things in the world to find."

Nelly - Untitled show, network TBA

Star: St. Louis rapper Nelly

The 411: Following in the footsteps of Ozzy, Britney, Tommy, Travis and Jessica, Nelly has signed on for a show that will chronicle the "day-to-day" life of the "Hot in Herre" rapper. The show will be produced by A. Smith & Co. (Hell's Kitchen, The Swan), so at least he's picked a winning team.

Why It Works: Well, we don't know yet if it will work because details are scant on the show, which is slated to debut in 2006; Nelly said in a statement that what he looks forward to most is "showing my fans what my world is about and bringing more attention to my nonprofit organizations." If by "world" and "organizations" he means applying Band Aids to his face while finding fruit-shaped booties to fill the jeans of his Apple Bottoms collection, the show should be fairly watchable.

Wit and Wisdom: "Shimmy shimmy cocoa what? Listen to it pound/ Light it up and take a puff, pass it to me now."