We're always prepared to see outrageous outfits on the red carpet at the MTV Video Music Awards, but you call that a skirt?
Christina Aguilera made the sartorial statement of the evening with her skunked dreadlocks, a scarf fashioned into a blouse to reveal some "neathage," and the micro-est of minis. It looked like she was really trying to get the word out about her upcoming album, Stripped.
Running neck-in-neck for questionable choices was pop princess Britney Spears. In an ongoing effort to ditch her squeaky clean image, Spears looked like she'd pillaged ex-Judas Priest singer Rob Halford's closet, showing up in her biker's best: a leather dress, matching hat and lace-up stilettos. When asked if she was enjoying her night off from performing duties, Spears replied, "No snakes. Hell yeah!"
On the other end of the teen pop-o-meter, Kelly Osbourne showed up with a crimped black bob and bright yellow eye shadow. Always one for details, she sported a four-finger ring in the shape of a keyboard and a black jacket that read, "I'm not strange. You are."
Pink — with the bare minimum of pink hair to qualify for that moniker — wore a green-and-black halter dress, accented by the "new tats" (which don't look permanent) covering her left arm and leg in the spirit of tribal tattoos.
Michelle Branch, who had asked fans for advice on what to wear, dissed the Miss Sixty suit that earned the most votes in an MTVNews.com poll and opted instead for a pink, blue, brown and white knit rayon Missoni dress. Her explanation: "No one is going to expect me to wear a dress."
The glamour-pusses were few and far between, but Kylie Minogue, Jennifer Lopez and Kate Hudson held it down for the ladies.
The boys, on the other hand, except for a select few, really dropped the ball this year. Get it together, guys. Follow the lead of those who never disappoint: Outkast, P. Diddy and Anthony Kiedis.
Dre rocked one of his signature kooky but undeniably dashing getups featuring a blue mesh tank top and plaid knickers. Big Boi was more formal in a cream tuxedo with a ruffle shirt and feathered fedora.
P. Diddy was refined in a more traditional tux with black sunglasses, while Kiedis' shaggy hair complemented a smart suit with charcoal and white stripes.
Speaking of White Stripes, in keeping with the group's peppermint theme, surprise stunner Jack White wore a white suit and white bowler hat with a red shirt, a white tie and a red hanky in his pocket.
But perhaps the best-dressed male is the beloved Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, whose "less is more" look featuring a sparkly gold bow tie and a cigar displayed perfect understated sexiness ... for me to poop on.
Catch all the sizzlin', star-packed VMA action direct from Miami on August 28. MTV News' preshow kicks things off at 6:00 p.m. ET/PT, followed by the big show at 8 p.m.