What A Pair Of Lungs!

Sean "Puffy" Combs is one of the guest producers.

She's come a long way, baby. If you read Jennifer Lopez' official biography,

you'll learn that On the 6 is named after the subway train the

Bronx-born actress once rode to auditions, nightclubs and dance classes. Just

like one of the regular folks, we're assured, except that Lopez just knew she

was going to be "somebody" from the age of 4.

Somebody who can't quite manage to keep all of her clothes on, judging from

the CD booklet and video for the record's first single, "If You Had My Love."

Somebody with a fabulous body that she likes to show off in a variety of

poses. The former Flygirl for "In Living Color" turned movie star ("Mi

Familia," "Selena," "Out of Sight") certainly doesn't lack self-confidence.

She's enlisted a bevy of contributing producers here, including Emilio Estefan

Jr. and the ubiquitous Sean "Puffy" Combs to massage her album into what Lopez doubtless hopes will be the beginning of a long ride to the top of the charts. Don't hold your breath, girlfriend: It takes more than a curvy derriere in a

pair of skimpy panties and a sultry way with a lyric to capture the

music-buying public's attention. Right?

Well, time will tell. The good news is that On the 6 isn't a totally

worthless piece of effluvium released solely to assuage a movie star's overfed

ego. The bad news is that the record is as slick and forgettable as a

celebrity cover story in a glossy magazine. Oh sure, Ms. Lopez has got an

adequate -- if a bit thin -- voice, but her song choices are predictable and

calculated. The track "If You Had My Love" (RealAudio excerpt) is a laundry list of demands to a

potential lover, with the finger-wagging admonition, "I don't want you tryin'

to get with me and I end up unhappy." Well, duh. It's sort of a rap, sort of

an R & B crooner and sort of an excuse to make a video with Miss Thing getting

all wet in the shower.

Marginally better is her duet with Latino sensation Marc Anthony, "No Me

Ames" (RealAudio excerpt), which would fit right in on your local adult contemporary radio

station, complete with a bit of Gipsy Kingsesque guitar here and a tasteful

blast of horns there. Yawn. If there's a video made for the song "Open Off My

Love" (RealAudio excerpt) it may garner an NC-17 rating, given lyrics like "I know I can make you

mine, touch you in that place you like," and the doormat sensibility of "I

wanna be where he wants me to be/ When he wants me, I'm gonna keep him up all night" -- talking, no doubt.