Mr. Kowalczyk To You, Bud

Oh Edward, could you please come in for some tea and crumpets...

It's certainly not an unprecedented move. After all, actor Larry Fishburne made

it crystal clear that he wished to be called Lawrence a few years ago,

or else. And, well, don't get me started on He Who Can't Be Named, but

when we heard that an internal memo at MCA Records circulated recently stating

that Live's Ed Kowalczyk now prefers to be known as Edward, well, we couldn't

help but wonder if this might be the first rock in an avalanche of name

changes. Just imagine the fall-out. We did.

*All Virgin personnel are now

commanded to refer to Smashing Pumpkins leader Billy Corgan as Master William

Corgan.

*Arista recording artist Patricia Smith will be joining her

friends, Louis Reed, Mr. Edward Vedder and Patrick Smear on a tribute album to

Who guitarist Lord Peter Townshend.

*It was reported today that

Soundgarden's Christopher Cornell is the latest name added to the all-star

line-up of this year's 2010 Rockin' New Year's eve. Also scheduled to appear

are Nicholas Cave, David Grohl, Green Day's William Joseph Armstrong, Michael

Watt and David Navarro. At press time, rumored surprise guest Robert Mould was

still unconfirmed.

*Note to all Capitol/Grand Royal employees: 2-13-99. The

retirement ceremony for the former names of the three Beastie Boys has been set

for one P.M. on Santa Monica pier this Friday afternoon. All employees are

encouraged to attend. Immediately following the ceremony and until further

notice, all correspondence, internal memos and phone messages should refer to

the gentlemen by their birth names, Adam Horovitz (formerly Ad-Rock), Adam

Yauch (MCA) and Michael Diamond (Mike D). Money Mark, however, will retain his

same name."

*Attn: The Artist Formerly Known As Prince, The Artist, the

Glyph and Prince Rogers Nelson will now answer to the name Ed.

That's

Mr. Ed, and don't you forget it.