Last Mention Of Van Halen, Ever, We Promise...

Sammy's swansong.

Look. There seems to be, finally, an end to the Van Halen

soap opera. First they ditched Sammy Hagar. That was a good idea. Then they

brought in David Lee Roth. That, too, was probably a good idea. Then they went

on MTV and made the world thing that David Lee was back for good. That was a

bad idea. Then they dumped David Lee. Another bad idea. Then David Lee wrote an

"Open Letter," sharing his feelings about the whole thing with us. Uh, excuse

us while we get sick. Then Van Halen issued a press release explaining that

they hadn't done any of the things David Lee accused them of. Anyone have a

stomach pump. Finally, we learn that the group has been working with former

Extreme singer Gary Cherone, and that if the biz details can be worked out,

Cherone will be the new Van Halen frontman. "This guy's got (guts) and he can

sing like an angel," guitarist Eddie Van Halen said today. Yeah but Eddie, you

had Sammy Hagar as your front man for a bunch of album so whadda you know.

Anyway, unless they dump Cherone soon, this is the last Van Halen report you're

gettin' for a while. Hold the applause.