Urge Overkill: From The Quotations of Chairman Kato

Our favorite pop philosopher du jour is the indescribably stylish Nash

Kato, guitarist for the indescribably elegant (in a polyester power

chord kinda way) Urge Overkill.

Who but Nash could have the purity of vision and generosity of spirit

to find the silver lining in one of today's darkest clouds, the tragic

Hugh Grant affair? As is so often the case, it begins with our hero

defending the honor of a woman, this particular damsel in distress

being Liz Hurley.

"C'mon man, she is sexy," Noah admonishes a (female)

disbeliever from London's Melody Maker . "Do you think Estee

Lauder fucks around with billions of pounds?" Then, seeing a little

sunlight break through, he cuts to the very heart of the Hugh and Liz

matter. "Both their careers have soared, and she's got a fucking

cosmetics line! Everybody wins."

In Los Angeles to shoot a video from the new Urge Overkill epic

Exit the Dragon , Kato -- so effortlessly cool that professional

house guests everywhere have adopted his name -- did not hesitate to

reveal the source of his attitude adjustment.

"We've come to L.A .and all become Scientologists," he admits.

"Everything is great! Have you heard the good news, sister? From here

on in I shall be known as Methius. When you call me Nash I know not of

whom you speak. They call me The Plan!"

Methius, known affectionately around the ATN offices as Meth, was

gracious in praising English rock's apparent devotion to the Urge

Overkill ideal.

"What the British band's are doing now," he explained, "is what we've

always done, and that's self consciously celebrate the past. With no

rules, we're not advancing anything here, it's a celebration of the

greatest pop music. In between '91 and '92 people forgot that rock

music was supposed to be fun. It went from "feel my pants" to "feel my

pain" and now the guard is changing again. So, would you like to feel

my pants?"

We each have our own answer to that question, and while you're

pondering yours we'll give you swine one more pearl from the

bottomless wisdom Chairman Kato shared with his English fans: "I'll

sum it up: Everything's cool and all you have to do is not die on my

couch. Die on your own couch. There's nothing like disposing of a dead

person on your couch to really ruin the whole party." Sentiments Lou

Reed would likely agree with.