Your grandfather probably would have loved these boys.

I can picture it now, a surly young fellow sauntering up to the backside of a

'53 Studebaker, where the locals have gathered to imbibe a little before

the local soiree gets under way. The conversation is relaxed, with a supple

undercurrent of energy that infuses the men with a sense of excitement.

They are talking about work. Who made it through another week, who didn't. Who's slipping around to whose door. Did so and so know that old so and so is back in town? The women are having similar conversations, keeping a wary eye on one another. At a silent cue from the women, the hooch is stored away and the group proceeds into the Veteran's Hall for the entertainment.

But something is somehow different. The normal square dance caller isn't on the stage. Instead, three stringy fellows are set up to play for the folks. It's Primus and well, it could happen. Really. Just listen to their newest album, the Brown Album.

This LP hearkens back to the days of yore, that is, the days of strength that Primus once exuded, pre-Tales From the Punchbowl, post-Pork Soda. But If you really want to know just how good this album is, let me say that it truly sucks!

Now, some of you are lost. One moment I'm raving about this new album, the next moment it sucks. What gives? Well friend, let me give you a piece of Primus history to help you understand.

Les Claypool used to announce at the beginning of a Primus show that they were Primus and that they sucked. The term became one of endearment to the group. If a Primus album is good, then it sucks. The last album was not too high up on the suck meter, but this one shoots right off of the charts.

Everybody has some notion of what Primus is. The most immediate

notion is usually that they have a really good bass player, and then there's that

guy that sounds funny. Kind of makes you want to smack them upside the

head with, oh, I don't know, an aluminum baseball bat. This trio - yes

that's trio - is one of the most talented groups ever, and to limit them to

such a simple definition is like saying Picasso did some paintings that

were good.

Just give a listen to the song "Shake Hands with Beef"to see

the sheer mastery that Primus has over the creation of a song. First and foremost, a song should be infectious. At no point in the song do you want to think, '...well, that was interesting, but what's next ?Õ This never happens.

With Claypool's pressing bass, coupled with new drummer Brain's pounding

rhythms and Larry LaLonde's guitar fillers, instrumentally, they don't

give you a chance to get bored. Second, the lyrics should be

interesting. Music is supposed to be a thing of escape. Two seconds of

empathy is all it takes to hook you into a Claypool characterization. The

kid in "Shake Hands with Beef" isn't necessarily Claypool. It could be you. It could be me. Or someone you knew.

"Camelback Cinema" is a hell of a song. Every element of the song sets a mood and creates tension. The drums pound incessantly, the guitar drops in with a controlled sonic wailing and the bass prompts the blood to push a little harder. Is it Death stalking an aged whore? Or merely another scummy john come to take his fill? Part of what makes this song so great is LaLonde's ability to create huge blocks of texture from relatively minimal guitar sounds. His playing is vastly under-rated. And though Claypool is understandably recognized because of his lead status as bassist and singer, much of Primus' sound depends heavily on LaLonde.

"Bob's Partytime Lounge" offers everything you hope for out of a lounge scene. Only Claypool could detail a lounge's activities so well. The opening vocals of the song sound Lennon-esque, as in John, but it's most certainly not

the kind of character that Lennon would have chosen to depict in a song.

"Pack my nose with cocaine/ Feed my filthy hole/ Bust out the dancin'

women/ I'm prone to lose control." Like I said, it's everything that you hope for in a lounge and more.

The Brown Album proves that Primus has been revitalized. The addition of Brain as replacement for drummer Tim Alexander has added a new bottom-end dimension to Primus' already unique sound.

As for your grandfather liking this album, well, when I played the album for my grandpa, he turned to me with a Claypoolian crinkle in his eye and said those magical words. "Boy," he said to me, "this album sucks!"

Yes it does Grandpa, yes it does.