The future of the Jersey Shore family is at stake. And during the Season 4 premiere, Mike pulled out all the stops (and fables, cheese puffs, hamsters, and inspirational quotes) in a bid to restore the peace.
"It's been about three months, and it's time to heal," he said.
Naturally, Big Daddy Sitch was referencing the never-ending drama surrounding Angelina's nuptials — drama that escalated when leaked audio of that speech swiftly became a social media sh*tstorm between the girls. That's when Mike, a somewhat neutral party, anointed himself the role of family mediator (aka The Mediation, formerly known as The Situation) and invited Deena and JWOWW over for a "State of the Union meeting" to get their perspective.
But the girls revealed they had zero desire to reconcile with their former roommate. The Mediation's take? "You don't change the goal; you change the plan," he said, heading to visit a pair of Staten Island newlyweds.
Despite being "sick and tired of taking the high road," Angelina agreed to extend an olive branch to the girls, but rather than send a text directly to the source(s) as Mike suggested, she blasted on Instagram. (Cue all the AWKWARD memes.)
"Here we are 1,000 days later, and Jenni's upset, Deena's upset, Angelina's hurt, and Snooki quit. The Mediation has failed epically," Mike admitted.
Regardless, we all know that "tough times don't last, tough people do," and a very determined BDS called in the RSVP reinforcements to help plan a family reunion. But then came
gym, tan, isolation coronavirus, quarantine, and lockdowns, foiling any potential plans of a get-together. Meanwhile, Deena still refused to be in the same room as Angelina, and Jenni is "too hot-tempered" to be around her. At this point, Mike was starting to "question everyone's logic," himself resorting to hamsters, brunette wigs, and a fable titled "The Scorpion and the Frog" to mend fences.
Finally, a whole nine months after the fact, Angela said that she's "willing to sit down with [Deena and Jenni]." And Mike is more determined than ever.
"The future of this family is currently going sideways real quick, but that does not mean we're going to give up," he said. "We have a lot of work left to do."
But can The Mediation work his magic, or is it beyond BDS? Comment with your thoughts, then tune in
Jerzday Thursday for an all-new episode at 8/7c.