Vinny's worked hella hard to get his abs worthy of 2009 Situation status (hold the crust -- Vin will only take the pizza toppings). And on this week's Jersey Shore: Family Vacation episode, the keto guido made his Vegas stage debut with the male striptease dance troupe Chippendales.
"People think that it's easy being a stripper, but it takes a lot of work, a lot of dedication, and a lot of sacrifice," he said. "I have been training like Rocky to become the stripper keto guido."
How did he reach peak stripper status? Read on to discover everything Vinny needed to successfully bare his backside on the iconic Chippendales stage:
Whether you sprained your ankle while playing basketball (*cough, Vinny*) or just need to rest your joints before baring all, keep your feet up and your ride fresh with a chooch scooter. Bells, "I love Pauly" plates and healing bag of frozen peas optional.
VIP suite (complete with keto spread)
Strip in style with a hotel suite big enough for you, your scooter and your fan club. Full keto spread of chicken, burgers, pork and sausage is a basic requirement to keep your meat sweats (and abs) on point in time for the big show.
Gallons of baby oil
Secure your professional stripper status with a glistening bod. All you gotta do is find a
dirty little hamsterJenga loser to oil up your bodily nooks and crannies with a head-to-toe rubdown -- minus the Johnson, of course.
Ample time for a stripper warmup
Ensure your muscles are in tip-top stripping shape with a last-minute lifting session. "Before my show, it's all about working out," Vinny explained. "Get those last pumps in before hitting that stage, because now you can't hide anything."
Playing accidental penis peek-a-boo on stage is like the nip slip of the stripper world -- just don't do it. That's where the c*ck sock comes in. "Getting your first c*ck sock is everything," Vinny shared. "It's like when they handed Tiger Woods his first golf club."
A friend who doesn't mind being objectified
Someone's got to go on stage for a lap dance, so for your first, it may as well be your sister from another mister. In Vinny's case, he opted for JWOWW. "Jenni's like my sister, but right now I am the keto torpedo, and I'm going to f*cking sexualize JWOWW," he said.
An OG to show how it's done
Uncle Nino in a Speedo. 'Nuff said.
Catch more Vegas action with the Jersey Shore fam next Thursday at 8/7c.