R-S-V-P!

The latest Jersey Shore: Family Vacation saw Ronnie, The Situation, Vinny and Pauly running wild during a weekend in Miami without their female roommates. With Snooki and JWOWW back in Jersey to see their kids and Deena plotting procreation snug in the arms of her husband Chris, the men had the house to themselves for two entire days. With that in mind, we've come up with a handy guide for our male readers who are planning a no-girls-allowed weekend. Let these R.S.V.P. shenanigans serve as your inspiration:

Make sure the girls vamoose

Call us Captain Obvious, but getting the gals to GTFO may not be as easy as one might think. That's where the anonymous (albeit grammatically incorrect) note comes in to play.

Partake in a little 'T-Shirt Time'

Everyone knows the best bonding with your boys occurs while running around the house in a 'beater, also known as "the shirt before the shirt."

Hit the club (obvi)

And remember: During this guys' weekend rite of passage, every dude has his role — from the designated driver to the wingman.

If you're single, fine -- girls are now allowed

Feel free to get your smush on (or at least make out). Bonus points if she's a Sammi Sweetheart lookalike.

...but if not, just romance yourself

If we've got to explain it, you wouldn't understand.

Test drive some fancy cars

There's nothing like speed racing a $2 million Lamborghini to release your inner Miami Vice (or Bad Boys 2).

Plan the ultimate prank

In addition to 24/7 roasting, secure your status as the "Prank War Champion" by instigating a gag of epic proportions. Dirty little hamsters, optional.

Catch the aftermath of the guys' weekend (Angelina and all) this Jerzday Thursday at 8/7c on an all-new Jersey Shore: Family Vacation!