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9 Muggle Tips For Buying Tickets To Harry Potter And The Cursed Child On Broadway

Because not everyone has some extra Felix Felicis on hand

Tickets for the Broadway run of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child officially go on sale today (October 18), and if you don’t have a spare vial of Felix Felicis at your disposal, don't worry: This is going to take more than Liquid Luck. These tickets are more elusive than a damn Snitch — and unless you're Daniel Radcliffe, there's no way to Accio yourself a pair of center orchestra seats.

If you were one of the Chosen Ones and received an Access Code through the Ticketmaster Verified Fan system, then the hard part starts at 11 a.m. EST today, when the very first tickets to The Cursed Child on Broadway go on sale. If you were put on standby, fear not: There's hope!

Here are some tips for buying Cursed Child tickets because, hey, we’re all in this together. Kinda like the Battle of Hogwarts, sans all the death and destruction and with even more tears!

  1. Remain Calm

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    Listen, right about now it’s normal to feel anxious. After all, you're not even guaranteed a ticket WITH an Access Code. So on a scale of 1 to Rue-Dying-In-A-Forest, how similar to The Hunger Games is this whole process going to be?!

  2. Do some finger exercises

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    Hey, wizard's wrist is a real thing. Do you think casting a spell with the flick of the wrist is easy on the joints? It takes time and practice. So warm up those fingers with a few simple stretches. Get that blood flowing. Try typing "the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" 25 times in a row.

  3. But make sure you have your Access Code handy

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    Again, if you were lucky enough to be selected to receive an Access Code, then it should arrive via text message no later than an hour before your purchase window. So make sure you have that handy when purchasing your tickets. It's only the most important part of the process.

  4. Be prepared for anything

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    This goes without saying but Ticketmaster does not accept galleons, sickles, or Gringotts IOUs, so make sure you have your credit card ready to go. It's also not a bad idea to update your browser for a smoother site experience. And remember: Tickets will be available on a first-come, first-served basis, so the more prepared you are, the more likely you are to secure your tickets.

  5. Check your wifi

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    It's normal to want to throw your computer out the window because it's painfully slow, right? Check your wifi connection just in case. Or better yet: Set up a hard-wire connection. If you're as clueless as Mr. Weasley when it comes to Muggle tech, that's OK. Just have a backup ready, like your phone.

  6. Set your Autofill

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    You can save a lot of time by autofilling your personal information, and when it comes to something like this, where you're literally on the clock, time is of the essence. So stop writing out your name and address every time like a peasant.

  7. Stay hydrated

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    You might be in your chair for up to 2.5 hours, so make sure you stay hydrated — but not too hydrated, you know? Now is not the time for an unexpected trip to the bathroom, and unlike wizards, muggles can't just relieve themselves where they stand and magically vanish the evidence. (Though, even if we could, that's still gross as hell.)

  8. If you're on Standby, keep your phone by your side

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    Because you never known if and when you're going to receive an Access Code. When you go to the bathroom? Bring your phone. When you're in the middle of history class? Bring your phone. (Your teacher will understand.) When you and bae are in the middle of making out? Do not put that phone on silent! You need to be alert and ready to go at a moment's notice. Don't let anyone distract you.

  9. But most importantly, get excited!!!

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    BECAUSE HARRY POTTER AND THE CURSED CHILD IS COMING TO AMERICA! I REPEAT: ALBUS SEVERUS POTTER AND SCORPIUS MALFOY ARE COMING TO AMERICA. (They've seemingly escaped the trolley witch unscaved.) And seeing how Potterheads are already crashing sites and breaking records, chances are it's going be around for many years to come. So relax.