Where's that E. coli when you need it?
Team Makody defined the phrase "playing dirty" on tonight's Stranded With A Million Dollars by taking a dump in Alex and Gina's drinking water and hoping it would give them the aforementioned intestinal infection. But the plan was a great big fail when neither of the campers fell ill, and that means one thing: Despite tent wars, starvation strategies and even attempted poisoning, the entire foursome have made it to next week's season finale.
But who will survive until Day 40 and take home the prize money? Here's our official Stranded roundup:
Things we all know: The Earth is round. Penguins can't fly. Cody's taking home the cash. Seriously, people: Mr. Thrive has been invincible since Day One, staying laser-focused, being relentlessly strategic and easily winning every challenge that's come his way -- then gleefully celebrating his rivals' departures with a well-timed taunt or two ("Hey, Alonzo -- see you never"). Fact: Cody is the rascal who jeered you on the school bus but grew up to be the buddy who always has your back and always saves your ass. Just don't get on his bad side -- he'll sh-t in your water.
Throughout the season, Cody has enjoyed most of the glory with his boastful showmanship and now-legendary expressions (#EmbraceTheSuck), but here's another expression you may be familiar with: "Behind every great man is a great woman." Makani -- the soft-spoken organic farmer with the Hawaiian moniker -- has been Cody's support beam since the show's early episodes, and she's the reason Team Makody started to gain power in the first place. Remember: She's the one who suggested she and Cody start "taking stuff" (like the almighty pot) from their opponents. She's the one who changed the game by stealing the Majority's tent. And she's the one who, this week, was responsible for her and Cody's latest competition win. So yeah, there's little question whether or not Makani will make it to Day 40, just like her pal Mr. Thrive. The more interesting question: All this time, has Stranded's MVP actually been -- aww hell yeah -- MS. Thrive?
We once called Gina "the weakest link" in all of Fiji, but look at that: Girlfriend has made it all the way to the finale. How, you ask? We'll tell you: Besides the fact that she was frequently well-fed ($5,000 pizzas and $3K hamburgers will do that for you), she half-assed it the entire way and let everyone else do the work for her. While the cocktail server's fellow campers routinely carried huge amounts of equipment during journeys, a frequently whining Gina always toted the lightest load -- tonight, for example, she carried a nine-pound bag while Makani lugged 39 pounds. Makes for a pretty easy journey, right? In addition, Gina only completed each trek thanks to the others: Eilish frequently coaxed her mentally and physically, Cody once helped her through a river and tonight, Alex himself said he had to "literally pull" her through water during their expedition. So is Gina really as useless as she looks? Well, yeah. But every bit of her neediness has worked in her favor: Thanks to all that help, the woman who once complained that she hated "not having makeup on" in the jungle easily outlasted Bria, Ashley, Michael, Chris, Alonzo and Eilish -- and, with Alex still assisting her every step of the way, she should have plenty of energy for the finale. Can Gina coast her way to Day 40 and pull out a win? Frankly, it's possible -- because if it's one thing we've learned, it's to never, ever underestimate a whiny cocktail waitress.
His bargaining "strategies" have failed miserably (destroying $65,580? Really?), he never won a competition and tonight, he again contemplated flaring out because he's "so miserable." But be honest: Did you expect the man Cody once called a "goober" to make it this far in the first place? Despite all his setbacks -- and Makody's plan to starve him out of the game -- Alex is still standing. Hell, he even drank "poo water" (Cody's words, not ours) and didn't get sick. Could Alex be a nerdy Clark Kent with a bit of Superman inside? Could he be an underdog (think: Amanda Nunes) who knocks out his competition (think: Ronda Rousey) in 40 days instead of 48 seconds? Stop laughing -- next week's episode might just be entitled, "Revenge Of The Goober."
Which camper do you think has the very best chance of winning Stranded With A Million Dollars? Take our poll, below, then be sure to watch the season finale next Tuesday at 10/9c.