Shattered Glass And Near-Death Experiences: This Is What Happens When Nev Schulman Drinks

On tonight's 'Greatest Party Story Ever,' the 'Catfish' host explained why he hardly ever imbibes

Nev Schulman just told his Greatest Party Story Ever and, turns out, his evening of alcohol-fuel debauchery was a rarity. In fact, dude even doesn't know the word "drunk."

"I don't really party that hard that often," the Catfish host said on tonight's episode of GPSE. "I can probably count on one hand the number of times that I've been...'saucy.'"

Like that time he and his crew had just finishing filming the second season of Catfish and went out to celebrate. As the gang rejoiced, a slightly totally inebriated Nev spotted a random couple who didn't seem to be having a very pleasant date. Nev's thought bubble? "They need help. They need ME."

So the man who's known for bringing together countless online couples approached the twosome and knocked on the giant glass windows that separated him from them. Unfortunately...

"I guessed I banged a little too hard," said the glass-shattering Nev. "Shards all over them, all over their food, into their drinks."

Oh, and all over Nev too. With a badly sliced arm, the new dad was rushed to an emergency room. But that didn't stop the evening's revelry: Later, the crew set off a slew of fireworks, including a renegade bottle rocket that nearly blew the head off of a passerby. After the near-fatality, Nev and crew decided to high-tail it out of town -- but not before the new dad made an important revelation.

"I'm wasted, I'm covered in blood, I've vandalized a bar, I've been to the hospital, I've nearly killed someone," he recalled. "Oh yeah -- this is why I don't drink."

Have you ever had a wild night fueled by too much alcohol? Or is that a stupid question because OF COURSE you have? Tell us your tales, then be sure to watch another Greatest Party Story Ever on Thursday at 11/10c!