Sad Face: Loosely Exactly Nicole Suffered The Most Indignities Ever

She even got the boot from (gasp!) Derrick

They say bad luck comes in threes, and our favorite weave-wearing funny girl was BL's latest victim during tonight's Loosely Exactly Nicole.

After getting kinda-sorta dumped by Derrick and his baseball bat-sized manhood named Chicco, Nicole set out to stalk his newest side piece. "I just want to figure out if she's prettier than me, or thinner, or smarter, or has bigger tits," she said, to which Devin replied, "No matter who this b*tch is, you're going to think she's better than you." GASP! Note to Nicole: Read this list, mmmkay? You're awesome.

While going all Sherlock Holmes on Derrick's new fling, Nic ran into an old classmate who reminded her how few acting gigs she's actually booked in two years. Ouch. That led her to audition for a part in a Dawson's Creek musical adaptation that is, erm, well above her qualifications. Namely, that whole singing thing.

Nevertheless, she put herself out there (YEAH, girl!) only to get chastised by the crotchety old pianist for not providing sheet music or singing chops. Double ouch.

This triple whammy of a shame spiral led a down-and-out Nicole to accept a retail gig at a boutique called "Fat Girls." Sad face. Ain't nothing wrong with retail, but if it's not your passion (and it's clearly not), then stick with your dreams! You're BETTER than that, Nicole. Relationships (or even f*ck buddies) take time. And big breaks take time.

Was Nicole being too hard on herself? Sound off, and catch an all-new episode (including the season finale) next Friday at 10/9c.