A Brief Summary Of The Young Pope Trailer, So You Can Stop Watching It And Move On With Your Life

Y’all really blew it when you selected this young-ass pope

Last night, before Westworld robot-fucked all of America, HBO released a teaser trailer for The Young Pope, an inexplicable new series from Paolo Sorrentino that stars Jude Law as a sexy demon pope with sun hats for days and a heart made of commercial asphalt. The 46-second trailer is, in HBO tradition, so violently on the nose that it has broken the nose off entirely and now it’s just a hole in a face.

No matter how many times you watch this trailer, it will never be enough times. You could watch this trailer until the sun itself burns out and the only thing left standing is Jude Law’s Young Pope Asphalt Heart and there would still be new things to scream and scream about. Understanding this, we’ve broken it down into its component parts — its spare, gorgeous dialogue and extremely subtle, nuanced imagery — and created a sort of visual poem, if you will.