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A Brief Primer On Things That Voters Don’t Care About

Courtesy of experts in not wanting to talk about certain topics, Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton

"As far as my taxes are concerned," Donald Trump assured an ABC News reporter on Monday, "the only one that cares is the press, I will tell you." Trump, who considers his insight into the whims of voters unparalleled after a year of watching cable news broadcasts about himself, has also determined that voters do not care about things like “policy specifics” or “the Trump University lawsuit.” Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton's campaign surrogates have said that no one cares about her Wall Street speech transcripts.

There is an extensive inventory of things that politicians, pundits, and observers have decided voters have no interest in hearing about this year. Here is a list of everything so far. These diagnoses of preexisting voter apathy are accurate in many cases, so it must be a complete coincidence that many of these topics also happen to be ones that the candidates have no interest in talking about ever again.

Tax returns

Trump's treatment of women

Policy specifics

Whether candidates tell the truth

Whether Trump does any of the things he's promised to do if elected

That Tim Kaine speaks Spanish

The Trump University case

Clinton's emails

The transcripts for Clinton's Wall Street speeches

That President Obama endorsed Clinton

Gun policy



Ronald Reagan nostalgia

Written-down policy proposals



Climate change


Anything Marco Rubio talked about this year

The Khizr Khan controversy


Which candidate comes out with policy proposals first

Bill Clinton

That time Bill Clinton ran into Attorney General Loretta Lynch at the airport


Free markets

Foreign policy

When candidates brag about their résumé

How presidents handle their money

Intrastate feuds


Press conferences


Luckily for Trump and Clinton, they still have 62 days to figure out what voters care about, since they seem to be having trouble coming up with ideas. It shouldn't be too hard — a recent Pew Research poll showed that 80 percent of voters have been thinking "quite a lot" about the election. More voters think the race is "interesting" than in any election since 1996. There must be something that's making them binge the election — perhaps even one of the things above that everyone keeps saying no one cares about one bit.