Delete Your Account is a weekly column that takes the hot air out of celebrities and their social media shenanigans. Every Friday, I will decide whether or not each perpetrator should delete their accounts and never grace the internet again. This week, Brandy and Monica keep it '98, Matt Bomer wishes he ran this column, Mark Ruffalo needs to do some research, and everyone critiquing Colin Kaepernick forgot to check their own Wikipedia pages.
Who knew Brandy was outchere running through her Instagram comments like she's speeding on the 405 freeway? I mean, we already knew that Brandy knucked when she got buck, but this feud with Monica is still happening in the Year of Our Lord 2016? This shit has gone on longer than the famed Mariah Carey and Jennifer Lopez "I don't know her" drama, and I'm delighted that I get the chance to finally address this nonsense in the annals of Delete Your Account. So here goes.
In May 1998, Brandy and Monica released the single "The Boy Is Mine." It was the lead single for both of their second albums (Never Say Never for Brandy, and, just so you remember that the single is on her album, The Boy Is Mine for Monica). The song, which is about two women feuding over the ancestor of a $200 date Twitter fuckboy, made people wonder if maybe the women actually did hate each other, because all songs are autobiographical, right? But as it turned out, they did. Monica confirmed that it wasn't over a boy, however, and both singers revealed on Hot 97 that Monica actually laid hands on Brandy backstage at the 1998 MTV Video Music Awards. Taking a close look at the performance, you can see there's so much shade dripping from Brandy's face that you might start to think she's the one who put that body in Dorian Corey's closet.
Years later, the singers would reunite on 2012's "It All Belongs to Me" and insist that the drama was over. Except — as of earlier this year, Brandy told Entertainment Weekly that she and Monica "don't talk." It's been almost 20 years, so clearly Brandy is tired of having to discuss that time Monica hit her with the hee. But of course, this was while Brandy was promoting a BET show that lasted only one season, a brief turn on Broadway in Chicago, and a single that only reached #17 on the R&B Digital Charts. She needed the promo, so she had to put up with questions about a beef she had when she was teenager. In a perfect world, Brandy would be talking about her absolutely flawless album Afrodisiac, which should have won every single Grammy the year it was released, but this is not a perfect world. Alicia Keys swept the R&B categories that year, like the Beck to Brandy's Beyoncé. Perhaps if Brandy started heading to CVS Pharmacy makeup-free, she'd get more attention ... but I've digressed.
This week, Monica's fans started the #SoGoneChallenge, where they shared their covers of Monica's 2003 track "So Gone." Rather than let Monica do her shine, Brandy was struck by a full moon and tweeted out some Instagram poetry with the caption "#BeenGone." Hmmm. For someone trying to avoid talk about old drama, it's awfully thirsty to post a petty Instagram that indirectly references said drama. It's almost like Brandy wanted the attention. But celebrities are never looking for attention, right? I mean, that's unheard of!
Lest you think that first Instagram was innocuous, Brandy took it one step further. A fan asked her to participate in the #SoGoneChallenge and she responded snidely with "chile bye." Then she uploaded another fan's cover of one of her own songs, "I Wanna Be Down," and used the hashtag #WannaBeDownChallenge. Maaan, listen. Mary Todd Lincoln could have hunched over Abraham's dying body and said, "Remember when I told you not to go to the theater? You think you know every damn thing," and it would still be less petty that Brandy's Instagram antics.
Brandy continued to "clap back" at her fans on Instagram, until she disabled comments altogether. Meanwhile, Monica remained unbothered and blessed. She didn't chime in on the drama at all.
Should Brandy Delete Her Account? She needs to be off making an appropriate follow-up to Afrodisiac instead of getting messy on Instagram and singing on the Subway like a "Showtime!" kid.
My, how times have changed since People listed Matt Bomer as a trans advocate in 2015. The saga of white gay men is that they are the most victimized group in America. No, don't question it, just believe them, okay? Never mind the other parts of the LGBT spectrum. Never mind LGBT people of color. The story of white gay men and their struggle is of the utmost importance. It's why most of our advocacy groups like the HRC and GLAAD cater to mostly white men. It's why white men mostly cover our LGBT magazines. It's why "hot white guy did something" is the most profitable blogging beat. It's why, for some reason, Matt Bomer was cast as a trans sex worker in the upcoming film Anything. Because he totally gets the struggle, you know?
Let's get one thing out of the way: Matt needed to keep his ass away from this film. Literally five seconds after Eddie Redmayne was dragged after his turn as a trans woman in The Danish Girl and Jared Leto inexplicably won an Oscar for Dallas Buyers Club, Matt decided to star in Tyler Perry's I Can Do Trans All By Myself. You'd think that a gay man working in Hollywood who's probably experienced discrimination in his career would be sensitive to discriminating against trans actresses! But nah — when there's a potential Oscar to be won, who has time to worry about shit like that?
Bomer knew what he was doing was suspect, otherwise he wouldn't have blocked trans actress and activist Jamie Clayton the minute she called him out on his new role. A new role that, let's be very clear, continues the erasure of trans women and perpetuates the myth that trans women are just men playing dress-up. Sure, there's nuanced portrayals of trans women by men like with Jeffrey Tambor in Transparent, but when will trans women get to tell their own stories? It's ironic that Matt was a part of a film like A Normal Heart and spoke to how important that was to him, but he and his producers couldn't see how important it is for trans women to finally get to start their own conversation. Because when it comes to white men as stand-ins for the trans community, gay or straight, there's no difference. But you don't have to take my word for it. Here’s a take from trans actress Jen Richards, creator of Emmy-nominated Her Story:
My problematic fave Mark Ruffalo is at it again. Back in January, I explained the intentions behind the #OscarsSoWhite boycott to Mark, and you know what? Part of me knew I'd be explaining something else to him by year's end. In January, he voiced concerns that the boycott was focusing only on Hollywood, even though diversity is a much bigger issue than that. In a since-deleted tweet, he said, "I hope the OscarBan people are also willing to step up and support the #BlackLivesMatter movement. Where black bodies are in jeopardy daily." This of course made the presumption that black people boycotting the Oscars weren't also capable of caring about police brutality, Flint, and other societal calamities. But Mark seems like a genuinely good person (other than being a 9/11 conspiracy theorist, but nobody's perfect), and he was open to hearing critiques of his statement.
Fast-forward to this week, when news got out that Matt Bomer would be playing a trans woman in the new film Mark Ruffalo is producing. It sparked yet another controversy for Mark, because as we already addressed, cisgender men playing trans woman is whack as hell. Mark responded to the critiques, but this time, that's not really good enough. Because white men, even the well-intentioned ones, are always acting like a conversation began the minute they started thinking about it.
"I am glad we are having this conversation. It's time." is such an oblivious response. We've been having this conversation for a good long while, Mark; it didn't just start now. The "time" was decades ago, but we can start with the backlash to Dallas Buyers Club. That was a conversation you couldn't have missed unless you were actively avoiding it. Like I said, I love Mark, but if you're still "learning" about the trans community and only now having this conversation, maybe you shouldn't be producing a film about a trans woman? Just a thought.
Should Mark Delete His Account? Ugh. No. I love him too much.
TONY STEWART, JERRY RICE, TIKI BARBER
Are we really out here letting these fools talk about Colin Kaepernick "disrespecting" a flag? Tony Stewart ran over a guy and killed him, Jerry "All Lives Matter But Not All Rules Matter" Rice cheated while playing football in the '80s, Tiki Barber cheated on the pregnant mother of his children and left her for a 23-year-old — and that's not even mentioning the idiotic quotes from Ben Roethlisberger on Kaepernick. You know, accused rapist Ben Roethlisberger. I mean, honestly, get all the way the fuck out of here. I don't have anything else to say about this nonsense that I didn't already on my podcast, but there's one more especially stupid tweet I want to address from the MLB.
This petty tweet is pretty heinous coming from the MLB, which loves to trot out the history of Jackie Robinson every Black History Month. You know, Robinson, who once had this to say about the American flag: "I cannot stand and sing the anthem. I cannot salute the flag; I know that I am a black man in a white world. In 1972, in 1947, at my birth in 1919, I know that I never had it made." So, like I said. Everyone can just get all the way the fuck out of here.
EVERYONE WHO WOULD RATHER TALK ABOUT THE NATIONAL ANTHEM INSTEAD OF POLICE BRUTALITY CAN DELETE THEIR ACCOUNTS AND THEIR ENTIRE EXISTENCE.
If there's anything I love more than the perfect albums Get Lifted and Evolver, it's how John Legend collects racists on Twitter. But even more than that, I love how his wife Chrissy Teigen comes for people — including him.
Honestly, get you a partner who will lightly drag you like this when you start bragging on Twitter, and you are set for life. Chrissy, I'm still waiting for you to guest on Delete Your Account.