Pot-seller Paige got an unpleasant blast from the past on tonight's Mary + Jane: the return of Tanya Westford, the girl who’s been copying her life since childhood.
“It all started in grade school -- everything I did, two seconds later, Tanya did,” Paige explained. “I took ice-skating lessons, Tanya took ice-skating lessons. I bought a bedazzled belt from Hot Topic, Tanya bought a bedazzled belt from Hot Topic. I got boobs, Tanya got bigger boobs.”
Jordan’s take on the situation: “That’s some straight-up Single White Female sh*t.”
But the worst was yet to come: Tanya had recently opened her very own weed-selling business, Grass Gurl, just like her childhood pal. Still not getting flashbacks of Jennifer Jason Leigh? Here are seven more ways Paige’s rival got totally SWF on her:
She jacked the Mary + Jane website
Tanya didn’t just copy M+J’s font for her Grass Gurl page but its graphics too. “You know how you put a little cartoon bee next to our honey cartridges?” Jordan asked Paige. “She put two bees -- what the f*ck!”
She stole one of the girls’ customers
And with a stressful job as a crossing guard where “the parents honk at me all time,” you know this dude was a self-medicating cash cow.
She started wearing Paige’s trademark hat
Even worse, b*tch got more compliments on it.
She buddied up to Jenée
During lunch at the uber-quiet Shhh restaurant, Jenée announced that her “new BFFL” was joining them. “She is non-stop AF!” the woman formerly known as Jenny whispered just before -- you guessed it -- Tanya arrived. Well, no, Jenée -- actually, she’s just stalkerish AF.
She banged Paige’s ex
The ultimate dirty deed: Tanya started dating the still-unseen Softs3rve, bragged about their nonstop sex sessions, then confirmed that, "YES!," they’re even “making porn” together. #TMI
She made millions off of Paige’s connections
After trolling Paige’s Facebook page and seeing Julian and Mandy -- aka the other two people in Jordan’s ménage à trois -- Tanya rang them up and asked for money to start her new business. So basically, she’s not only stalkerish AF, she’s opportunist AF too.
She forgot the little people.
During an on-air interview about her booming business, Tanya attributed her success to “having strong role models.” As Paige eagerly awaited some props -- after all, Tanya had earlier admitted Paige was her idol -- the Green Gurl revealed her biggest inspirations: “Women like Susan B. Anthony and one of my oldest friends -- Jenée.”
Which Tanya moment do you think was the most SWF-like? Tell us your thoughts, and let us know if you’ve ever had someone try to jack your style. Then be sure to catch another episode Monday at 10/9c!