On Wednesday (July 20), Legendary Entertainment announced its plan to launch the first live-action Pokémon film franchise, starting with a "Detective Pikachu" movie. Adapted from a recently released Japanese video game called Great Detective Pikachu, the film will supposedly follow a curious Pikachu unlike any other. He many not be as powerful as his fellow Pika brethren, but this Pokémon claims to be a great detective — and when he meets a teen boy who's able to understand what he's saying, their great Poké-adventure begins.
That's a lot to digest.
Unlike regular old BORING Pikachu, Detective Pikachu is able to say things other than "Pika!" and "Pikachuuuuu." Plus, the game is set in Rhyme City, where Pokémon and people live together. Clearly, a Detective Pikachu movie is what the world needs to cleanse its soul of rampant xenophobia.
But what would a live-action Pokémon movie even look like? And more importantly, would Danny DeVito be able to clear his schedule in time to voice Detective Pikachu? With so many questions, I've decided to compile them into one very convenient list. I'll be eagerly awaiting your reply, Detective Pikachu. (But please keep in mind that I don't speak Pokémon.)
1. How did Detective Pikachu learn to speak English?
2. Or is Tim Goodman the only human who can understand him?
3. Since humans and Pokémon live together in Rhyme City, do all the Pokémon speak English?
4. Does Detective Pikachu know Ash and Pikachu?
5. Is Detective Pikachu secretly jealous that he'll never be able to compete in a Pokémon tournament?
6. Who is Tim Goodman?
7. What kind of name is Tim Goodman anyway? With a name like "Good-Man," he's clearly the Chosen One in the Detective Pikachu universe.
8. Is Detective Pikachu secretly a dick? Be honest.
9. We know he has a Sherlock-inspired hat, but does he own a trench coat? It's very important that he's able to complete the look.
10. What about a pipe?
11. Wait. Does Detective Pikachu vape?? Who knows what could go down in Rhyme City.
12. Where's the Squirtle Squad movie?
13. Is Hollywood secretly fat-shaming the Squirtle Squad? BECAUSE THAT IS NOT VERY NICE. Squirtles can be movie stars too.
14. Will the Detective Pikachu movie be a mix of live-action and hand-drawn animation à la Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
15. Or will the Pokémon — gasp — be CG?
16. Does Tim Goodman want to be the very best, or is he OK with being average?
17. Are there any women in this movie? (Eevee and Jigglypuff don't count.)
18. What makes Detective Pikachu a great detective?
19. Does he have any cool tech? (Honestly, Pikachu doesn't even have thumbs, so how does he hold his magnifying glass?)
20. Is Detective Pikachu the outcast among the other Pokémon?
21. Who will voice Detective Pikachu?
22. Will it be Danny DeVito? The internet seems to really like that idea.
23. Omg. Will Detective Pikachu be motion-capture?
24. In that case, will Simon Pegg be Detective Pikachu? That guy loves motion-capture.
25. Wait, but who will play Tim Goodman?
26. Please please please cast Bran Stark from Game of Thrones. That kid needs more to do.
27. What kind of crime will Detective Pikachu solve? Are we talking Pokémon-on-Pokémon crime, or something more sinister?
28. Will this be rated R? (It worked for Deadpool.)
29. And finally, will this iconic theme make it into the movie at all?
30. Will Jigglypuff sing it?!
31. Or will it be a collab between Jigglypuff and Beyoncé? TBH, Beyoncé is pretty much an IRL Pokémon. Think about it: they both have acute accents in their names for no damn reason.