When events warrant, the MTV News team gathers together in our virtual secure bunker to discuss the political news of the day. Monday's topic: A bunch of GOP delegates have come together to stop Donald Trump, in what is "literally ... an 'Anybody but Trump' movement," Colorado delegate Kendal Unruh told the Washington Post. We've got a few helpful suggestions for whom they should nominate instead! Here with us today: Jamil Smith, Ana Marie Cox, Holly Anderson, Meredith Graves, Michael Catano, Jane Coaston, Dan Fierman, Marcus Ellsworth, and Ashley Schwartz-Lavares.
Cox: I think they will draft LeBron.
Graves: Not at all finalized, but I think Mero and I are making a campaign video next week for Mero-Dith 2016 as a third-party platform.
Anderson: If it really is ANYBODY, I vote Bernie.
Coaston: Not sure why I’m not getting a mention here. I’m very qualified.
Graves: All right, I nominate Jane.
Coaston: Michigan men have a history of filling in after someone else fucked up. See: Gerald Ford.
Fierman: Nixon’s head in a jar! Nixon’s head in a jar!
Ellsworth: The ghost of Abraham Lincoln.
Coaston: You can trust me. I’m very qualified.
Smith: I’m all for nominating Jane Coaston.
Anderson: Nothing more Michigan than repeating how qualified you are. I think that's technically sexting in Michigan.
Smith: In all seriousness, though, who are they going to pick? Not Cruz; everyone hates him. Kasich?
Cox: A shredded Constitution soaked in the tears of homophobic evangelicals.
Catano: How many Edible Arrangements do you think are on Colin Powell's doorstep right now?
Anderson: Bob Dole (is still alive!).
Graves: Colin Powell has been forced to start using the back door, as his front porch is covered in hundreds of pounds of decaying pineapple.
Catano: That limping capybara from the internet.
Coaston: Me/Capybara 2016
Cox: Tiptoeing pit bull from the internet.
Anderson: This is my favorite group post since we made up all those imaginary sex acts and later found out that three of them were real.
Catano: The capybara has demonstrated an ability to work across the aisle through his progressive stance on interspecies friendship.
Coaston: God, if pit bull/capybara ran...
Anderson: When you think about it, the GOP would totally look at the availability of hologram technology and go, “You know what, let's nominate a GIF.”
Coaston: Even, like, the singing Pitbull. Just fist-pumping his way to Washington.
Anderson: He could deliver Florida!
Fierman: A slowly oscillating desk fan.
Anderson: Dan, you can't just name objects in your house — wait, actually, that's better than the GOP's actual strategy.
Fierman: Holly, how did you know I had Nixon’s head in a jar in my house?
Cox: "Slowly Fading Sense of Entitlement/Nixon's Head in a Jar 2016!"
Ellsworth: A mouthful of bees.
Fierman: That’s what got them to this point, Marcus.
Schwartz-Lavares: Bees are hardworking, could be a good third-party candidate.
Coaston: But bees could be Mormon! And we don’t trust Mormons!
Cox: Sad we seem to have left the LeBron idea behind, because I think he really is their only chance. No one else can carry an entire party on his back.
Catano: That chair Clint Eastwood talked at that one time?
Coaston: I’m 87 percent sure this is basically how Adlai Stevenson got the nod back in ’52.
Catano: BABY CAPYBARA/ADULT GUINEA PIG 2016
Ellsworth: Biscuits-and-gravy-flavored chips. They're repugnant, but the people voted for it.
Catano: Canadian potato chip flavors/inferior potato chip options 2016.
Schwartz-Lavares: A lamp could also be a good option — shed some light on this foolery.
Cox: I feel like capybara and some inanimate object are strong contenders, with LeBron a definite third.
Anderson: A poll with 47 terrible options, just like the real primary!
Ellsworth: Forty-six bad options and Jane.
Fierman: Can we put a box of rusty nails in the mix? I feel like that’s got an underrated shot.
Graves: Rusty nails would probably get the hard-line evangelical vote.
Schwartz-Lavares: I think Trump technically is the rusty nail.
Graves: You’re confusing nails with trombones again.
Catano: Can we just start calling Jane “presumptive nominee”?