It's not easy being Albus Severus Potter, as Harry Potter and the Cursed Child will certainly attest.
The official eighth installment of the Harry Potter series debuts on the London stage in previews next month, and we're warning all of you lucky fans right now: bring tissues. But don't take our word for it; J.K. Rowling herself has confirmed the unsurprising news.
When asked by a fan on Twitter if the Potter continuation will "make me cry," Rowling responded with one of her prolific tweets: "If it doesn't, we'll be checking your vital signs."
So, yes, if you are in fact not an automaton or a Dementor, you will feel things during this production, which stars Jamie Parker, Noma Dumezweni, and Paul Thornley as Harry, Hermione, and Ron, respectively. All we know at this point is that Cursed Child picks up 19 years after the Battle of Hogwarts and follows Harry's angst-ridden son Albus Severus Potter as he "struggles with the weight of a family legacy he never wanted."
Hmm. Sounds like someone we know.
With less than a month to go before previews commence (but who's counting?), there's a lot to be emotional about. Sure, watching Harry grapple with being an "overworked employee of the Ministry of Magic, a husband, and father of three school-age children," including a distant son who wants nothing to do with him, sounds like heavy material, but that's not the only thing that's going to make us cry. In fact, let's take a minute to count all the ways Harry Potter and the Cursed Child will destroy us emotionally:
1. This is the official sequel to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I want to cry just thinking about it.
2. The casting of Dumezweni as Hermione means that the fandom's decades-long push for a brown-skinned Hermione is no longer just a dream; it's straight-up canon. (TEARS. TEARS EVERYWHERE.)
3. Remember: Albus Severus had Lily's eyes, which I'm sure will be mentioned approximately a dozen times during the two-part production. And I will cry every time.
4. You just know that Harry and Albus will have a heartfelt, tear-inducing conversation about his namesake, Severus Snape.
5. Will Albus be bullied because he's the son of The Boy Who Lived? Yes, of course he will.
6. What if Albus doesn't have any friends? Everyone needs a Ron and Hermione, and the thought of poor Albus not having anyone like that by his side at Hogwarts is seriously depressing.
7. The script for the Harry Potter play will be released in book form on July 31 -- Harry's 36th birthday. (Happy tears are still tears.)
Previews for Harry Potter and the Cursed Child begin on June 7, with an official London premiere set for July 30 at the Palace Theatre London.