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Let Kim Kardashian And Her BFF Jonathan Cheban Teach You How To Act Like A Celebrity

...When you're actually a nobody. In three easy steps.

Kim Kardashian and best friend Jonathan Cheban go way back. Like way, way back. In a new video on Kim's website, Jonathan revealed he first met Kim at a party for their mutual friend and was seated next to Kim so that "the Duffs" (Hilary and Haylie for the layman) wouldn't have to sit next to Lindsay Lohan. So yeah, they go that far back.

More importantly for us civilians, Kim also explained how Jonathan advised her on her way up the celebrity totem pole. Jonathan offered three crucial tips on how to fake it 'til you make it. Enjoy, and take notes.

  • Tip 1: Shut Up And Look Mad
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    "Every time I'd go to the gym or to go eat, every paparazzi would ask me questions," Kim recalled. "And I'd be like, 'Hey Guys! What's up?' Like, I so wanted the attention."

    "She was like doing walking interviews," Jonathan interjected.

    "And so then Jonathan was like, 'This has got to stop. Do you think Victoria Beckham sits and does all these interviews? Do you think everyone else has smiles on their faces? You are too happy, you're smiling way too much. Put your sunglasses on. You need like, a whole makeover, and you just need to stop talking and stop smiling."

    He's right. Victoria would never.

  • Tip 2: Get Rid Of Your White Range Rover, Plebeian
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    Another crucial tip of Jonathan's is to be as discrete as possible in order to achieve maximum exposure.

    "I remember the day of that happening," Jonathan continued. "And she had that white Range Rover, which I did make her get rid of. I was like, 'You cannot drive around in that white Range Rover.' It's like, time for the next step."

  • Tip 3: Get A Picture With And Befriend J.Lo
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    It will be everywhere.

    "I said, 'Let's go to Miami,' and we went to Miami and we hung out with Jennifer and we went to LIV, and they took this amazing, epic picture of Kim and Jennifer at LIV, which went all over the world," Jonathan gushed. "And it was such a big deal because Jennifer was, like, an icon even back then. And then it was, like, in Us Weekly, a full page, and every magazine. And I feel like that was, like, one of those steps."

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And now you know. With Jonathan Cheban and Kris Jenner by your side, anything is possible.