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Why Is Kylo Ren's Hair So Shiny And Voluminous? An Investigation

Adam Driver's emo Kylo Ren hair deserves its own MTV Movie Award

How did Kylo Ren keep his hair so voluminous under his helmet?

It's not the first time MTV has posed this question, but now, we're taking a cold hard look at the facts. A helmet that tight is going to give you some serious helmet hair. If this were reality and not some fantastical space fairy tale set in a galaxy far, far away, Kylo's stringy locks would be sticking to his sweaty forehead. So, what's the deal? Did the Force keep his hair looking so shiny and voluminous? And if so, can we have some of that dark side conditioner? More so, did he fluff his hair and add some product before putting that helmet on? Just how nebulous was that cloud of hairspray? Did he learn the importance of conditioning from Chewbacca? Also, can I touch it?

But I digress. To be honest, it's impossible to talk about the emo First Order member without referencing the now-iconic scene in which he unmasks himself to reveal a luxurious, shiny mane of raven tresses like a goddamn shampoo commercial. Sure, MTV Movie Awards nominee Adam Driver is a hell of an actor. He delivered one amazingly divisive performance in Star Wars: The Force Awakens, and he's got the Best Villain nomination to prove it, but it's arguably his hair that's the true star of the film. Honestly, Kylo's hair is so magical, it deserves a Golden Popcorn of its very own.

Imagine braiding Kylo's hair every morning before he puts on his helmet.

Landing somewhere between Justin Bieber's classic swoop and Harry Styles's unkempt curls, Kylo's hair is purposefully defiant. It doesn't adhere to logic or gravity because it doesn't have to. Kylo knows the trick; the trick is to use the helmet. Work with the helmet, not against. Be the helmet.

That, and he keeps his nightly routine on the low. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if he has a secret, nondescript shipment of luxury hair care products delivered to the Starkiller Base each month. Hux probably assumes they're weapons for galactic domination, but little does he know it's just conditioning products and heat-activated volumizers.

The Dark Side up-and-comer blew us away with his pathos. We expected a brooding psycho with helmet hair and an angry timbre; instead, we got a conflicted kid, neither Jedi nor Sith, with puppy dog eyes plagued by self-doubt and insecurities. That's what made Kylo's reveal so memorable. When he took off that mask and revealed his truth self, shiny locks and all, he became a real person -- and not some evil caricature of Darth Vader.

Kylo's hair is the source of his vulnerability. It's his achilles heel. His Britney Jean. Without it, he'd just be another fuckboy.


VMAs 2017