Johnny Depp Threatens Retirement

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Well, we hope you're happy now. You've really put your foot in it this time, earthlings. You misbehaved, and now Johnny Depp is threatening to retire.

In an interview with the BBC, Depp dropped a vague little truth-bomb that made the hearts of millions of fangirls everywhere die a screaming death.

"Are there quieter things I wouldn't mind doing? Yeah, I wouldn't mind that," he said. "I wouldn't say I am dropping out any second but I would say it's probably not too far away."

Gasp! Look what you've done, world! This is why we can't have nice things.

Depp, who is still on board for the remaining "Pirates of the Caribbean" sequels, as well as the upcoming musical "Into the Woods," features "Mortdecai" and "Transcendence" and a sequel to "Alice in Wonderland," doesn't seem to be in a huge rush to take his bow. The 50-year-old actor, in the same interview, seemed to have some concerns about, oh, living a real life instead of rocking the fiction of the five-dozen plus movies he's acted in over the past 29 years.

"When you add up the amount of dialogue that you say per year, for example, and you realize you've said written words more than you've actually had a chance to say your own words, you start thinking of that as an insane option for a human being," he said.

We have two theories for why Depp is really considering retiring to a life of (more) leisure, and can't decide which is more plausible.

A.) He's tired of those damned Jack Sparrow dreadlocks.

B.) He's still holding a grudge that despite remaining alive in the years between and since, he was only bestowed Peoples' Sexiest Man Alive titles in 2003 and 2009. There must have been some very handsome male infants born in 2004-2008 and from 2010 onward.

Either, way, a Depp's gotta do what a Depp's gotta do, we suppose.

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