"Heyyyy there Chris Pratt. May we just say first: YOW! And secondly, what's your secret to being so fit? [Hair twirl. Shifty giggle.] Wait, whaddya mean lose the booze? [Eyebrow raise. Stankface threatening to surface.] Pffft."
That was pretty much the gist of our imaginary one-way conversation with the "Guardians of the Galaxy" Star-Lord-to-be after he posted this super muscley gym selfie on his Instagram page yesterday, informing followers that by ditching all the six-packs of beer for, oh just half a year, he's been able to get so ridiculously jacked.
"Six months no beer," he wrote with the pic. "Kinda douchey to post this but my brother made me."
You might recall that this is the same guy who once gave a tutorial on how to pack on the pudge and pounds for his lushy "Parks and Recreation" counterpart Andy Dwyer — the kinda champ who sports his beer gut with exactly zero effs about it.
And just look (ogle if you wish) at him now!
Holy Bert Macklin! That, people, is dedication to the craft ... wait, did someone say craft beer?
Anyway, Pratt's apparently just psycho enough to actually enjoy this up-down-up-down dieting routine of his (gaining poundage for "Moneyball," slimming down for "Zero Dark Thirty" and then back up again for "Delivery Man," and now this). He told Vulture last year, "I just like to gain weight and lose weight. It’s a rollercoaster. I just want to do this. I want to touch God."
Seeing as "Guardians" is due in theaters in just over a year (Aug. 1, 2014), Pratt'll probably be putting all that new physical training to use sooner than later. He stars in the James Gunn-directed Marvel series starter as Peter Quill a.k.a. The Star-Lord, a pilot who joins forces with a bunch of random space creatures, like Groot the Tree and Rocket Raccoon. Benicio Del Toro, Zoe Saldana, Lee Pace, John C. Reilly, Michael Rooker, Glenn Close, Dave Bautista and Karen Gillan will also star in the pic.