[caption id="attachment_182963" align="alignleft" width="300"] DreamWorks[/caption]
Little-known fact: Ever since the anti-Commie masterpiece "Red Dawn" debuted in 1984 with the first-ever PG-13 rating, the MPAA has rationed out F-bombs to PG-13 movies like a master offering up gruel to orphans in a Dickens novel — one per.
Of course, the MPAA being the shady, Illuminati-like organization that it is, the rule is subject to their strange, nonsensical whims, and occasionally more than one is allowed in, or none at all. But for the most part, it stands that PG-13 writers and directors have to reserve their "f**ks" for the best moment possible.
With that in mind, we've assembled a list of movies that put their F-bombs-in-hole to the best use.
20. 'The Wedding Singer' (1998)
[caption id="attachment_182056" align="aligncenter" width="500"] New Line Cinema[/caption]
"But it all was bulls***! It was a goddamn joke! And when I think of you, Linda, I hope you f**king choke!" — Robbie Hart
This was crooned by a heartbroken Adam Sandler in his Billboard chart topper "Somebody Kill Me Please" after breaking up with his fiance. Luckily, Billy Idol is there to save the day (as per usual) and make sure Robbie ends up with his true love, the wholesome Drew Barrymore.
19. 'Super 8' (2011)
[caption id="attachment_182869" align="aligncenter" width="500"] Paramount Pictures[/caption]
"What the f**k!" — Donny
A vulgar yet appropriate reaction to witnessing the wreckage caused by a man-devouring alien creature.
18. 'X-Men: First Class' (2011)
[caption id="attachment_181354" align="aligncenter" width="500"] Fox[/caption]
"Excuse me, I'm Eric Lehnsherr." — Eric Lehnsherr
"Charles Xavier." — Charles Xavier
"Go f*** yourselves." — Logan
The ever-peachy Wolverine, kindly letting everyone know he isn't interested in battling any mutant Nazis today.
17. 'The Aviator' (2004)
[caption id="attachment_19395" align="aligncenter" width="500"] Miramax[/caption]
"The hearings are over. The airline bill will be defeated in the Senate. TWA will begin flights over New York to Paris, leaving over Moscow to Japan — to Hawaii — to Los Angeles — to New York ... F**k!" - Juan Trippe
16. 'Skyfall' (2012)
[caption id="attachment_182864" align="aligncenter" width="500"] MGM[/caption]
"I f**ked this up didn't I?" — M
Said by the usually fiercely unapologetic M when she first arrives at the Skyfall ranch, as she reflects on some shoddy decision-making earlier in the film. Notably, the first use of an F-bomb in Bond franchise history! (Cue falling confetti.)
15. '(500) Days of Summer' (2009)
[caption id="attachment_182873" align="aligncenter" width="500"] Fox Searchlight[/caption]
"Roses are red violets are blue, f**k you whore." — Vance
Some touching poetry written by Joseph Gordon-Levitt's heartbroken Tom, proving the old adage that sometimes pain inspires the best art. Hey, if Zooey Deschanel loved us and ran, we'd be pretty bummed, too.
14. 'Bruce Almighty' (2003)
[caption id="attachment_182866" align="aligncenter" width="500"] Universal Pictures[/caption]
"Back to you, f**kers!" — Bruce Nolan
Notably, one of two disgruntled newsmen inappropriately blurting out obscenities and jeopardizing their career on this list.
13. 'The 6th Day' (2000)
[caption id="attachment_182897" align="aligncenter" width="500"] Columbia Pictures[/caption]
"If you really believe that then you should clone yourself while you're still alive." — Adam Gibson
"Why is that? So I can understand your unique perspective?" — Drucker
"No. So you can go f**k yourself." — Adam Gibson
Nothing like a little clone-sex humor to lighten the mood after discovering an evil conglomerate has duplicated you and destroyed your life, amirite?
12. 'Hot Rod' (2007)
[caption id="attachment_182853" align="aligncenter" width="500"] Paramount Pictures[/caption]
"Get the f**k off my porch." — Woman
A perfectly reasonable request made to Andy Samberg's Rod Kimble in a decidedly underrated Lonely Island vehicle.
11. 'Days of Thunder' (1990)
[caption id="attachment_182911" align="aligncenter" width="500"] Paramount Pictures[/caption]
"We messed up big time on Sunday. I had sponsors in the stands and I'm huggin' and holdin' hands and kissin' em in the ears and prayin' for a good showin'. And what do we do? We end up lookin' like a monkey f**kin' a football out there." — Big John
This may be the worst movie on the list, but without a doubt it had the most vivid visual imagery.
10. 'Intolerable Cruelty' (2003)
[caption id="attachment_182872" align="aligncenter" width="500"] Universal Studios[/caption]
"Do you have a, uh, green salad?" — Wrigley
"What the f**k color would it be?" — Nero's Waitress
One of the lesser Coen Brother flicks (also one of the few PG-13 Coen Brothers flicks) wins back some points for delivering one of the all-time great PG-13 F-bombs.
9. 'Adventures in Babysitting' (1987)
[caption id="attachment_182906" align="aligncenter" width="500"] Touchstone Pictures[/caption]
"Don't f*** with the Lords of Hell." — Gang Member
"Don't f*** with the babysitter." — Chris
Remember what I said earlier about the MPAA? "Adventures in Babysitting" is one of those rare films that managed to sneak in two f**ks for the price of one.
8. 'Billy Madison' (1995)
[caption id="attachment_182902" align="aligncenter" width="500"] Universal Pictures[/caption]
"If your dog gets lost you don't look for an hour then call it quits. You get your ass out there and you find that f**king dog." — Billy
Man-child Billy Madison doing his best impression of a literary critic, as he takes the protagonist of "The Puppy Who Lost His Way" to task for a lack of perseverance.
7. 'Million Dollar Baby' (2004)
[caption id="attachment_182868" align="aligncenter" width="500"] Warner Brothers[/caption]
"So is Jesus a Demigod?" — Frankie Dunn
"There are no Demigods, you f**king pagan!" — Father Horvak
Exclaimed to an existentially confused Clint Eastwood, as he tries to wrap his mind around the whole "Holy Trinity" thing. The irony here of course being the priest uses a no-no word to shame Frankie for having sacrilegious thoughts.
6. 'Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story' (2004)
[caption id="attachment_182849" align="aligncenter" width="500"] New Line Cinema[/caption]
"F***in' Chuck Norris." — White Goodman
Uttered by a newly fat White Goodman, who's fallen into a downward spiral after Chuck Norris casts the deciding vote in a dodgeball tournament tiebreaker. This was at the height of the mid-oughties Chuck Norris boom, which is rivaled only by Betty White and Rep. Mark Sanford in terms of unexpected 21st Century career revivals.
5. 'Cellular' (2004)
[caption id="attachment_182852" align="aligncenter" width="500"] New Line Cinema[/caption]
"I think all the chemicals from that beauty salon have gotten to your head." — Jack Tanner
"It's a day spa, you f**k." — Mooney
A toe-headed Bill Macy, making it clear where he gets his locks goldied.
4. 'Catch Me if You Can' (2002)
[caption id="attachment_182870" align="aligncenter" width="500"] DreamWorks[/caption]
"Knock Knock." — Carl Hanratty
"Who's there?" — Earl Amdursky
"Go f**k yourselves." — Carl Hanratty
Tom Hanks' dead-serious Carl Hanratty doing his best to lighten the mood among fellow FBI agents. The line is hilariously altered to the less-biting "go flog yourselves" in the TV-friendly version.
3. 'Fast Five' (2011)
[caption id="attachment_175038" align="aligncenter" width="500"] Universal Pictures[/caption]
"What's the second thing?" — Alemeida
"Stay the f**k out of my way." — Luke Hobbs
Dwayne Johnson, also known as The Rock, showing a lowly bit player that when it comes to revitalizing fledgling action franchises, he means f***ing business.
2. 'Crazy Stupid Love' (2011)
[caption id="attachment_182898" align="aligncenter" width="500"] Warner Brothers[/caption]
"Will you take off your shirt ... f**k! Seriously? It's like you're Photoshopped!" — Hannah Weaver
Said to a shirtless Ryan Gosling, who's just so f**king good-looking it inspires profanity. Interestingly, earlier in the scene Hannah says “I know the PG-13 version of this night,” implying she's looking to go R, which is either a fun coincidence for our purposes or pretty clever writing.
1. 'Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy' (2004)
[caption id="attachment_182900" align="aligncenter" width="500"] DreamWorks[/caption]
"Go f**k yourself, San Diego." — Ron Burgundy
The blasphemy here is also a major plot point, with the fallout driving Ron Burgundy into a downward spiral of drinking, unemployment and poor milk-related decision making. We're looking forward to more inspired profanity in the sequel.