James Franco's 'Man of Steel' Review: Complimentary or Crazy?

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James Franco's movie rants are quickly becoming some of our favorites things ever (not just among reviews) because, franco-ly, the man is the best kinda bats**t. You know, the kind of bizarro dude that simply refuses to yield to the confines of, say, manners or general normalcy? Yeah, that's him. And when he puts pen to paper — or more likely, fingers to some grungy hipsteriffic laptop's keys — magic happens. Last time, it was Ryan Gosling who got showered with whacked Franco-isms, and this time, it's the "Man of Steel" himself, Henry Cavill.

Let's just say, if it is indeed a bird ... it is definitely a cuckoo bird. 

So basically, Franco oh-so-graciously donated his time last week to the London premiere of "Man of Steel" to review the film for Vice, and while he expressed some rather hypocritical notions about the role of money in this recycle-and-remake era of the industry — his own "Oz the Great Powerful" gets a bye pretty much just because he says so — he ultimately liked the movie "as a person on the inside of the film business and as an indiscriminate viewer of the film."

While he himself had never quite latched onto the sacrosanctness of Superman ("in my days as a young man, this appeal was long outstripped by the cheesiness of the character's suit and his douchey invincibility"), he could appreciate what Zack Snyder & Co. did with with the big blue boyscout. Fair enough.

James Franco being James Franco, though, he couldn't keep the course on reviewing just the film. No, no.

Franco keeps right on going to do things like explain why he doesn't think Henry Cavill likes him very much and get all high-brow about "The Amazing Spider-Man."

"I don't think Henry Cavill would have wanted to see me [at the premiere]," Franco wrote. "Not that we're enemies. Years ago we worked on a film together called 'Tristan and Isolde.' I played Tristan and he played my backstabbing sidekick. My hunch is that he didn't like me very much."

But why oh why would that ever be the case?

"I don't know this for certain," Franco continued, "but I know that I wouldn't have liked myself back then because I was a difficult young actor who took himself too seriously." Back then?

From where we're seated, he still seems to take himself pretty seriously because he writes things like "the new Spider-Man series ... arose even before there was time to bury the corpse of the old one and enshroud it in the haze of nostalgia" and that he was a part of "the original," thank you very much, and the only reason Dane DeHaan has now stepped into his Harry Osborn shoes right now is that the esteemed Sam Raimi couldn't "agree on the villain for a fourth Spider-Man."

It goes on. James Franco's rear is positively fused to that soap box and we just wouldn't have it any other way.