Gary Busey Gives a Busified Commencement Speech for Online College Graduates

As we're all reminded approximately 757 times per hour of television watching, going to college online is incredibly simple and convenient these days. One noteworthy drawback, however: Once you graduate, you regretfully do not have the privilege of enjoying the dulcet, educated and hopeful tones of a commencement speaker. Until now, you guys.

Because who better to prepare you for the hardships of the real world than one Gary Busey, who has taken two minutes and 25 seconds of his sweet, enigmatic and probably horrifying free time to impart his Busified wisdom onto the ripe brains of online college graduates everywhere. A sample: "Don't do things that are dumb. Don't do things that are stupid. Don't do things that will get you in trouble and (unintelligible) make you good!" Indeed, Gary. Well put. If someone somewhere isn't already making that into a cross-stitch wall-hanging, then, well, we don't even want to live in this world anymore.

(A tip for those who do watch: Brace yourself for 1:15 to 1:36 of the video. Just trust me.)

And while there's no question that Busey will leave you feeling a little more prepared for everything life after college has to offer, we can't help but feel like he would have made for a more appropriate high school graduation commencement speaker. That way, parents everywhere could save $200,000 by deciding not to send their kids to college at the last possible moment. Courtesy of this guy.

Then you'll have extra money to be able to tell your buddy Utah to get you two meatball subs instead of one: