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WARNING: SPOILERS up in here.
Booze, blow, prostitutes, old ladies ... one of the hallowed traditions of the Wolf Pack is to save the sickest, most depraved debauchery for the end credits, and that noble heritage is upheld for this weekend's "The Hangover Part III."
While director Todd Phillips eschews his traditional still photograph montage, the bro excess is chronicled in a brief one-minute scene after the final credits have rolled for a minute or so. When last we saw Alan (Zach Galifianakis), he was about to walk down the aisle with his sassy lady love Cassie (Melissa McCarthy) ... but when they fade back up the house from his wedding is completely destroyed, stuff is on fire, there's a motorcycle lodged in the window, etc.
Phil (Bradley Cooper) wakes up with a raging headache mumbling, "What the f**k?" Alan and Cassie wake up looking confused, too. Doug (Justin Bartha), naturally, is nowhere to be seen.
That's when Stu (Ed Helms) emerges from the bathroom with his shirt off to reveal that he's now owner of a glorious rack thanks to some spontaneous plastic surgery he can't remember. "Great, now I have tits!" he yells. Phil, pretty mortified, asks "What did you do, Alan?!"
Alan thinks for a moment, then: "The wedding cake ... Chow sent the wedding cake ..."
Heeding his cue, a sword-wielding Leslie Chow (Ken Jeong) then emerges from a back room, completely naked (you can totes see his chode), his face caked in cocaine and yells, "That was one crazy f**kin' night, you guys!"
Cut to Phil Collins' "In the Air Tonight," and that's a wrap.
This final little coda mos def nabbed the biggest laughs of the screening we attended. While "The Hangover Part II" was in no uncertain terms a complete rehash of the first film with a Thai twist, "Part III" distinguishes itself by being a straightforward action-comedy. You don't get any drunken antics — besides Chow doing all the cocaine in the world and parachuting off Caesars Palace — and the "ending" punks the audience into thinking the Wolf Pack were actually going to go out on a sentimental ode to friendship. That's not how they roll.
So kudos to Phillips and co-writer Craig Mazin for giving us this last little button that underlines how far into self-parody "The Hangover" movies would go if they continued, and, yes, one last hilarious kick in the nuts.