Teenage Average Turtles: Who Needs Ninjas?

As we await the oncoming "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" flick from Michael Bay, let us all be pacified by a hilarious parody that feeds your ambitious need for amphibious humor. From The Pet Collective, it's the "Teenage Mutant Average Turtles," heroes in a half-shell who are, you know, real turtles. Four legs, slow speed, hard shells and all, these superheroes couldn't be more sedentary.

Without their sais, nunchucks, bos, and swords, what's a ninja turtle to do? Answer: slow walking, a lot of slow walking. But even if you don't like seeing your ninja turtles at snail pace, any fan of the old cartoon series will appreciate the warped, cinemta verite take on Leonardo, Michelangelo, Raphael, and Donatello.

And, yes, there's pizza. Very, very small pizza.