Christoph Waltz Offers Up Some Seduction Instruction

To our knowledge, Christoph Waltz is a happily married man, but that doesn't mean he's lost his bachelor-esque touch when it comes to wooing the ladies ... Actually, we take that back. He's totally bad at it, but at least he's shown a hint of a funny bone!

The Oscar-nominated "Django Unchained" star is so skilled at being mean on-screen that he could easily be confused with a bona fide jackass off-camera. To avoid that stigma, Waltz is waltzing around being a comedic guy these days. In addition to hosting "Saturday Night Live" this weekend - the promos for which are relatively innocuous, considering — and punning it up on "Between Two Ferns," he also appeared in this Valentine's Day sketch video for "Jimmy Kimmel Live."

Waltz offers up some terrible, terrible romance advice for Kimmel's viewers.

"Seduction, like needlepoint, flower arrangement or competitive bass fishing, is an art. And like any art it can be mastered," he offers. He then proceeds to slather himself down with his own armpit sweat, poke a girl in the nose after making a Hannibal Lecter-like sippy face and then "check" to see whether she is, indeed, a chick with no ... you get it.

Folks, the real lesson here is that Christoph Waltz has a sense of humor. Granted, it's a kinda creepy one.