One of the (many) taglines for the upcoming zom-rom-com (that would be the new genre of zombie rom-coms that we hope is just beginning) "Warm Bodies" is "Cold Body, Warm Heart." That's exactly how we tried to approach this edition of Eff, Marry, Kill: Just as the human Julie (Teresa Palmer) learns to look past the grey-skinned zombie facade of R (Nicholas Hoult), we (our expert panel of Effemkayers) must learn to look beyond that handsome genetic Franco facade and ask ourselves the important questions: Who is he really? Does he had a warm heart? Is he kind?
Do we want to eff him?
We invite you to ask these same questions alongside us in this very special "Warm Bodies" edition of Eff, Marry, Kill, pitting Nicholas Hoult, Dave Franco and John Malkovich against one another for a place in our hearts, a place in our beds, and a place at the bottom of a cliff.
Onwards and effwards!
Katey Rich, CinemaBlend editor-in-chief
Sabrina Rojas Weiss, VH1 senior editor
Kase Wickman, NextMovie staff
First things first: Nicholas Hoult, you are mine. I don't care that he looked like an owl when he was just a kid in "About a Boy" (and I still wouldn't be surprised if he hooted a little; I don't give a hoot). We're close to the same age, he seems really nice, he has distinctive enough facial features that I would be able to find him in a crowd (see: owly), and he used to date Jennifer Lawrence. I really like Jennifer Lawrence, so, sure, I'll take her sloppy seconds any day. That leaves us with Dave Franco and John Malkovich. Tough choices, guys! Malkovich is a living legend, but Franco is a living Franco. Which makes me wonder...what would he be like as a dead Franco? Sorry, Davey, but you're dead, just for the novelty of it. John...all that experience has to add up to something, right?
Eff: John Malkovich
Marry: Nicholas Hoult
Kill: Dave Franco