F**king Matt Damon Exacts Revenge on 'Jimmy Kimmel Live'

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"Jimmy Kimmel Live" has been pulling out the big guns lately - er knives, in the case of Will Ferrell and Ryan Gosling and sledgehammers with Jennifer Aniston. Why all the madness? Well, he's the new kid on the block at the 11:35 p.m. time slot - the place where David Letterman and Jay Leno have been duking it out for ratings generations. The competition is stiff. 'Nuff said.

So last night, Matt Damon took over the program by gagging and binding Kimmel, dubbing it "Jimmy Kimmel Sucks," and ushering in a slew of celebrity cameos. Damon, of course, had been the punchline for many a "JKL" episode, with Kimmel repeatedly saying he'd just run out of time for Matt Damon to guest on it. This long-lived rivalry, Damon explained, stemmed from nothing more than pure jealousy.

"Jimmy always wanted to be an actor," he said. "And unfortunately for him, I beat him out for every role he truly wanted."

So, Matt Damon, or M.D. or "Doctor" as he put it, took "command of this ship" and let loose a few zingers with Kimmel finally at the receiving end. "Jimmy Kimmel is to late night talk show hosts what Magic Johnson is to ... late night talk show hosts" and "Hey, Jimmy, did you hear the joke about Lindsay Lohan? Because I have. 1,205 times," for instance. As Kimmel was bound and defeated in the background, Matt Damon sucker punched him with the simple, "You've never been funnier, my friend."

A cavalcade of celebs - Ben AffleckRobin WilliamsSheryl CrowSarah Silverman (Kimmel's ex, who compared dating him to eating a greasy hot dog), Nicole KidmanAndy GarciaDemi MooreGary OldmanAmy Adams and Reese Witherspooon - showed up to lend a hand. A few others - Jennifer LopezSally FieldJohn KrasinskiRobert DeNiroDon CheadleOprah Winfrey and even Jimmy's parents - phoned in their support for Damon as host, too.

"F**king Matt Damon."