Eff, Marry, Kill: 'Gangster Squad' Edition

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There comes a time in every girl's life when she must decide which hard-bitten-yet-handsome gentleman from an upcoming cop drama she'd most like to take home to Mom and Dad. (Isn't there?) Now that the Jan. 11 release date of "Gangster Squad" is upon us, it's time to make the call: Is it Nick Nolte who will wait for you at the end of the perp walk aisle? Josh Brolin whose detective skills will equip him for a very, ahem, intimate inspection? Ryan Gosling who will meet a noir-style, gritty end at the barrel of a gun? (Or at the bottom of a long drop, not that we've thought about it too much.)

Yes, the time has come for Eff, Marry, Kill: "Gangster Squad" Edition.

To help us, NextMovie called upon friends from Hollywood Crush and Film School Rejects, as well as you, our faithful readers. Vote in the poll below, check out our panelists' thoughtful decisions and leave your own reasoning in the comments below.

Amy Wilkinson, Editor, Hollywood Crush

Which "Gangster" will find himself on the business end of my metaphorical Tommy Gun? Why, that would be Nick Nolte! Sorry, Nick, but your Hawaiian shirt collection would clash with my apartment's aesthetic and, well, we can't have that. Now, anyone who knows me--even tangentially--knows I've made something of a career out of sexually harassing Ryan Gosling from afar (and once in person, but that didn't go too well...), so his classification gave me serious pause. Until I realized: Duh! How could I ever express all of my feels for Ryan in a single night? I need a lifetime. Or two! Ours will be a slow-burning romance filled with Ferris Wheel rides, "Dirty Dancing" choreography and "Golden Girls" marathons. Which leaves Josh Brolin for my eff-buddy. Which seems about right.

Eff: Josh Brolin

Marry: Ryan Gosling

Kill: Nick Nolte

Kate Erbland, Associate Editor, Film School Rejects

I feel as if I'd be betraying not just fans of "The Mickey Mouse Club" (MMC for life!), but the entire widespread cultural contract that stipulates that Ryan Gosling is Our Most Perfect Man by not picking him for a husband, so that decision is the simplest and the most obvious. And that's when it gets a bit hazy. This is a real no win-win situation, but I think I'd have to kill Josh Brolin (he's clearly a great actor, but perhaps a bit of a rabble-rouser in real life and that sounds just exhausting) and eff Nick Nolte. We could talk about "The Prince of Tides" after! Or "Warrior"!

Eff: Nick Nolte

Marry: Ryan Gosling

Kill: Josh Brolin

Kase Wickman, Editorial Staff, NextMovie

I hate to be predictable, but what's right is right, and what's Gosling is Gosling, and what Gosling is is my husband. We'll have the happiest marriage: I'm from Oregon and am firmy anti-umbrella, so I won't be upset when he inevitably wants to re-enact the scene from "The Notebook," and I'm not afraid of heights, so dirty dance me! (Those are his main hobbies, right?) I won't even make fun of his Canadian-gone-New-York fake gruff accent. Hey, girl. Which brings us to Nolte and Brolin. Brolin seems like he might be able to show a girl a pretty good time, but there's just one thing I can't shake: His portrayal of President George W. Bush. Too close. Too close! I can't. Which makes me an assassin by my own definition, I guess, but so be it. In FMK, as in life, you have to make the hard choices. Which means, by default, Nolte and I will be doing the dirty dance. Cringe.


Marry: Gosling

Kill: Brolin