Coming up with our list of 9 Favorite Christmas Movie Characters was hard — there are so many to choose from. From Jack Skellington to Buddy the Elf, those holiday hams have earned a permanent place in our Christmas traditions.
That said, it wasn't half as hard as coming up with a list of our favorite Hanukkah movie characters. As a holiday gift to you, dear readers, we spent days hours minutes combing through dozens of a couple Hanukkah movies to pick out the 2 Greatest Hanukkah Characters Of All Time!
2. Davey Stone (Adam Sandler), 'Eight Crazy Nights,' 2002
It's no "Billy Madison," but kudos to Sandler for making an animated movie musical about the Festival of Lights. Davey Stone is a terrible guy, embittered by the death of his family on Hanukkah 20 years ago, and determined to drown his sorrows in booze for all time.
The love of an elderly basketball ref (also voiced by Sandler) and a good woman convince Davey to turn his life around, the ref has a grand mal seizure (of joy) and everyone sings. Ahh. The miracle of Hanukkah!
1. Mordechai Jefferson Carver (Adam Goldberg), 'The Hebrew Hammer,' 2003
Sometimes Christmas leaves Jewish kids feeling like the red-headed stepchildren* of winter — our gentile friends have beautiful trees, a generous fat man in red and every Who in Whoville, while we have... low-quality chocolate coins covered in foil. That's why the Hebrew Hammer is a perfect holiday hero. As a child, Mordechai Jefferson Carver felt left out at Christmastime, alienated by his friends and victimized by a cruel local Santa. But as a retired captain in the Israeli Army, Mordechai and a gang of Kwaanza supporters seek to restore tolerance and inclusion by any means necessary.
The Hebrew Hammer reminds us of the story of the Maccabees — the second century Jewish rebel army that's the reason for our season. Never forget, children: Badassery's in our blood.
* No offense to red-headed stepchildren. You have beautiful skin. Happy Hanukkah.