The summer is over and we're heading back to school. I'm trading in my Mojito Mix for a protractors as we speak.
Time will put summer 2012 in its historical context but, by and large, I'd call it a successful one. We may have lost a TomKat but we gained a Kimye. If that isn't a grand metaphor for this funny little thing we call life, I don't know what is.
As far as Fanboy movies are concerned, rarely have we been so well-serviced. Between "Avengers," "The Dark Knight Rises" and "The Amazing Spider-Man," I can't think of a time when so many major ticket comic book heroes were in the spotlight. As autumn comes and we don our pea coats and khakis -- yes, we attend Dartmouth in 1962 -- it's time to look back at the standouts of Fanboy movies Summer 2012.
Summer 2012 can best be described as "'The Avengers' and Everything Else." I've seen the picture three times and it still holds up. It may be the finest popcorn film since "Raiders of the Lost Ark." Yes, I really mean that.
"The Avengers" is a carnival of tiny miracles (like the fact that a movie like this even exists in the first place) leading up to one of the most exhilarating extended action sequences ever. And it proved what we've already known – if you give great actors great characters, audiences will truly care about them. How deeply has "The Avengers" affected me? My comic book reading used to be about 85% DC. Now I'm roughly 50/50 between DC and Marvel. Talk about effective economic synergy! (Okay, don't, cause that's boring.)
Best Moment (Avengers Edition)
Most True Believers simply melted at the shot of the Avengers assembling in front of Grand Central as the camera swooped around them from a low angle. And, yes, that gave me chills. But the moment that absolutely kills me is when Cap bounces across exploding cars and begins barking orders to the NYPD. When they shrug in the way New York movie cops and ask, "why should we take orders from you?" Cap's response is delayed because he has to beat the hell out of a group in invading Chitauri with his bare hands. Once the dust settles Officer Duffy springs into action, relaying Cap's exact orders to his men.
AND I BURST INTO TEARS EVERY TIME!
Best Moment (Non-Avengers)
I was pretty mixed on "The Amazing Spider-Man," but there was one moment that really got to me. It, too, featured New York's working men interacting with a superhero. Call me corny, but when the band of unionized scaffolding lifters (or whatever the heck they were) created a highway in the sky of easily swingable beams for a hurtin' Spidey, I got a little choked up. If you didn't (or laughed, as some did) you have no soul.
Finest Moment Of Voyeuristic Prurience
I neither endorse nor engage in the objectification of women. But, please, I am merely flesh and can only take so much before I cave to baser instincts. By the twelfth time Anne Hathaway's Selena Kyle was shown presenting herself like a mare in heat while mounting the Batpod my defenses of decency had been throughly destroyed. Shooting from behind didn't help much.
Best Scene in a Bad Movie
There's about 45 seconds in "Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter" where the badass lawyer from Springfield is shown doing some martial arts training with his rail-splittin' axe. Had the rest of the movie had just a little bit of this verve it wouldn't have been such a dud.
Best Bad Guy
Please. Who else wore a fur coat and a sleep apnea mask, was a wall of pure muscle and sounded like Sean Connery talking into a fan? Bane was the best villain of 2012. Bane was the best thing that happened to any of us in 2012.
Remember "Prometheus?" Yeah, I know. A pain in the ass movie. But bring it up and it still gets people fighting, and, I suppose, that is the mark of a memorable movie. No one merely shrugged it off. And there's one thing everyone agrees on – it looked great. Of the many cool pieces of technology in that film (those floating silver spheres with red lasers that make 3D maps! the holodeck-ish theater!) the little auto-surgery pod was the niftiest. Now, if it takes Blue Cross/Blue Shield we'll be in business.
Neatest Movie Not Enough People Saw
Here's where I make you feel bad for missing out on some cool little movies. "Sound of My Voice" is a fantastic paranoid thriller that may or may not be about secret time traveling weirdos from war torn future. I guess you can say it is a lot like "The Terminator," but where Arnold is a nasally blonde 20-something woman who hangs out in a basement instead of killing people. The other cool one is "Robot and Frank" where an old man and a robot steal things. Yeah, I don't know why you haven't seen that either.
"Robot and Frank" is still in theaters in select cities. "Sound of My Voice" will be on Blu-ray on Oct 2.
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