7 Things Robert Pattinson Does in 'Bel Ami' That You've Never Seen Him Do Before

[caption id="attachment_131432" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="Columbia Pictures"]Bel Ami[/caption]

Unlike most of the exalted contributors here at Next Movie, I am not a professional film critic. I am, like you readers, but a humble servant of "The Twilight Saga."

That said, my opinion of "Bel Ami" should only hold water with fellow Twi-hards. Don't get angry with me for missing the dramatic undertones of French society in the 1880s. Even if I knew what to look for on that accord, I wasn't looking for it. I was only watching "Bel Ami" to see if Robert Pattinson accomplished what he set out to do with the role, which is to break away from the Edward Cullen typecasting.

R.Pattz didn't state that on record, but it's obvious, right? Because the movie is not great, but his character, Georges Duroy, is a far cry from any Pattinson has played before. Sure, he's still a total heartthrob (bedding half the women in upper-class French society) who relies on very long dramatic stares to depict a variety of emotions (as does Edward), but the rest is unique to "Bel Ami." To prove it, I've selected seven things that Robert Pattinson does in this film that we've never seen him do before.

[caption id="attachment_131435" align="alignright" width="220" caption="Columbia Pictures"]Bel Ami[/caption]

1. Wear a Top Hat

Top hats were apparently all the rage in 1885 France, and not just for formal events. According to this film, they were considered great "walking-around" hats. Whether you were walking to buy flowers for your wife, or off to your journalism job you didn't deserve, or headed to see one of your mistresses for a daylight love tryst -- a top hat was called for.

2. Be Completely Detestable

Despite being one of the most notorious vampires in cinema history, Pattinson has never really played the bad guy. While he's the "protagonist" in "Bel Ami," he's also a total dickhead. R.Pattz himself describes Duroy as being "completely amoral," which is a more eloquent way to say "total dickhead," but I prefer my description.

3. Do It Doggy-Style With a Prostitute

I saw this with NextMovie's Executive Editor, and he suggested "doggy-style" as one of the things we've never seen Pattinson do before. However, I've never seen the film "Little Ashes," in which Pattinson plays a young, bi-curious Salvador Dali and takes a male lover. Since I can't confirm at this moment whether you see him going "doggy-style" in that film, I added the "prostitute" part.

[caption id="attachment_131433" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="Columbia Pictures"]Bel Ami[/caption]

4. Sleep His Way Through Paris

I feel like we've only seen Pattinson take one lover per film before this one. I could be wrong about that, and feel free to flay me in the comments sections if I am, but we definitely haven't seen him sleep with four different women in one film, right?

5. Lose a Drunken Bar Fight

Like I said, I've never seen "Little Ashes" and I've blocked out much of "Water For Elephants," but I don't remember seeing Pattinson badly lose a fight, especially one in which he's really hammered and deserves to lose.

6. Get Hate-F**ked by Uma Thurman

Let me warn you, it will be disconcerting for those of you on Team Edward to see your hero getting dirty with women who aren't K.Stew. But the most disturbing by far is his love scene with Uma Thurman. At that point, her character is his newly wedded wife. She wants to work, but all Duroy wants is to get nekkid. To appease him, she climbs on and seems to hurt him more than pleasure him, making him her bitch.

7. Star in a Movie That Shares a Title with a Gay Porn Company

While I know there are adult films based on "Twilight" and probably "Water for Elephants" and "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire," this has to be the first film that Pattinson has been in that shares a name with a notable gay porno company.

Confessions of a (Male) Twi-Hard is a "Twilight" humor column by Ryan McKee that publishes every other week on NextMovie. Read Ryan’s introductory post here or follow him on Twitter.

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