Got a Question For 'Back to the Future's' Biff Tannen? He's Already Answered It

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If anybody knows the power of time travel, it has to be Tom Wilson. After all, Wilson played Biff Tannen in the iconic "Back to the Future" trilogy, a character who changed the course of his own timestream by providing his past self with information from the far future.

And now Wilson seems to be using that power once again, because not only does he already know exactly what questions you're going to ask him, he's already written out all the answers on a handy post card. Amazing!

Okay, so Wilson doesn't actually have access to a time machine (spoilers!). However, given that Biff Tannen is pretty much his only major film role — and given the fact that the films are a cultural touchstone for an entire generation — fans are constantly approaching him to ask the same questions over and over. So in the spirit of "Back to the Future," Wilson has decided to save everyone time by printing up postcards with all the answers already pre-printed on them.

"I'm Tom Wilson," the postcard begins. "I was in all three "Back to the Future" movies. Michael J. Fox is nice. I'm not in close contact with him. Christopher Lloyd is nice. He is a very shy man. Crispin Glover is unusual, but not as unusual as he sometimes presents himself. We got along nicely. Lea Thompson is nice.

"I hold my co-workers in the best light," the postcard continues, "but I have no idea what any of them are doing right now."

And he also has answers to your questions about how the films were made.

"The hoverboards didn't really fly, we were hanging by wires from a crane. The manure was made from peat moss, cork, dirt and a food agent that made it sticky. The DeLorean was an inferior automobile and nearly impossible for a person of normal size like myself to enter and exit. There are many tiny plot points hidden in the movies, but I don't know what they are."

"Nobody had any idea that the movies would become a cultural touchstone," Wilson adds, "but the themes of friendship and adventure moved the audience so powerfully that I felt the need to create this postcard as a time-saver."

You can check out the full postcard over at Letters of Note. Just don't tell 'em Marty McFly sent you.