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You'd think breathing the same air with a dictator who brags of his successful genocide and hate for, well, everyone would have us a little on edge.
Of course, the international leader in this case is Admiral General Aladeen, Sacha Baron Cohen's fictional ruler of the equally fictional country of Wadiya. To celebrate his new movie, "The Dictator," in theaters on May 16, Aladeen gave a press conference to a room of very serious domestic and international journalists.
And we were very seriously cracking up.
Here are the 10 most outrageous soundbytes from the Supreme Leader himself. Of course, in true Cohen fashion, some were simply too vulgar (or offensive or just plain icky) to print.
1. "I love American films, particularly fantasy films like 'Lord of the Rings' and 'Schindler's List.'"
2. "What is the point [of bringing a version of the Hunger Games to Wadiya]? North Korea has done it literally."
3. "We dictators aren't all bad. While Western countries continue to ravage our planet's resources, we preserve our land and conserve it by burying thousands of bones in single mass eco-graves."
4. "My favorite shows are Wadiyan. We have our version of 'Two and a Half Men.' It used to be called 'Three Men' but one of them tried to steal a grapefruit. Also, I love the TV program '24.' You have it here, but we play it backwards so it has a happy ending."
5. "Recently in Wadiya, we made [Mel Gibson] our public relations expert. Although he has said some pretty offensive things lately – like, saying that he would work with Jews again."
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6. "There are differences between the Wadiyan film industry and Hollywood. People say I am extravagant for using 20 trillion bottles of Fiji water every day to make snow for my ski resort in the middle of the desert, but am I the person who created 'John Carter'?"
7. "[Kim Kardashian] is a very nice girl, but unbelievably hairy! When I pulled her panties down, I thought I was looking in the mirror."
8. "Ahmadinejad, he is still around, but he is still an embarrassment. He looks like a snitch on 'Miami Vice.' I mean, why does he not wear a tie? Does he think every day in Iran is Casual Friday?"
9. "I don't need CGI. If I want to push a village off a cliff, I'll do it myself."
10. "Congratulations to [Megan Fox for being pregnant]. There are rumors that I am the father, but this is literally impossible ... If she is pregnant, so is Heidi Klum and also Donald Trump. He does anything for money."
(Originally published on May 7, 2012, at 7:16 p.m. ET)