Ben Stiller Vs. Eddie Murphy

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There are no two comedic stars who are as serious about comedy as Ben Stiller and Eddie Murphy, and no two actors who have starred in such a bounty of diverse blockbusters. Murphy, his mouth spouting jokes at breakneck speed, is a natural foil for Stiller, who's at his best when shown struggling to comprehend the intentions of a stronger willed costar.

Lucky for us, the yin-and-yang pair (no, not because one's white and one's black -- we mean in temperament!) is about to collide in "Tower Heist." And, as a pre-game show, we're throwing this vertically challenged duo in the ring to battle it out. So let's get ready to rumble ... and/or read quietly to ourselves!

Full Name

Eddie Murphy: Edward Regan Murphy

Ben Stiller: Benjamin Edward Stiller

Advantage: Stiller. By co-opting Eddie's name as his own middle name, Stiller dominates Murphy in truly humiliating fashion. Genius.


Eddie Murphy: Brooklyn, NY

Ben Stiller: New York, NY

Advantage: Tie.


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Eddie Murphy: 5'9''

Ben Stiller: 5'7''

Advantage: Stiller (short = funny)


Eddie Murphy: Fairly cut

Ben Stiller: Very cut

Advantage: Neither. Isn't it enough you guys are funny? Stop trying to look good.

Funniest Family Member

Eddie Murphy: Brother, Charlie Murphy, recounted his '80s encounters with Rick James, resulting in the best "Chappelle Show" skit of all time. If you haven't seen it, see it.

Ben Stiller: Father, Jerry Stiller, played George's spastically insane father on "Seinfeld."

Advantage: Tie. Who'd want to live in an America lacking either of these national treasures?

Big Break

Eddie Murphy: Made a splash on "SNL" from 1980 to 1984, playing quotable characters such as: grown-up Buckwheat, surly Gumby, and the extremely "urban" Mr. Robinson in the ghetto version of "Mr. Roger's Neighborhood."

Ben Stiller: Starred in the critically acclaimed "The Ben Stiller Show," which first failed on MTV and then failed for another season on Fox. Besides rocking a menagerie of hilarious characters, the show also launched the careers of Janeane Garofalo, Bob Odenkirk and ... Andy Dick.

Advantage: Murphy (who told you to launch Andy Dick's career, Stiller?)

Also Check Out: Case the Joint With 6 "Tower Heist" Clips

Biggest Box Office

Eddie Murphy: "Shrek the Third" earned $322,719,944 in theaters.

Ben Stiller: "Meet the Fockers" earned a paltry $279,261,160 in theaters.

Advantage: Murphy, who is currently the second-highest grossing actor in Hollywood.

Biggest Box Office Bomb

Eddie Murphy: "The Adventures of Pluto Nash" with a production budget of $110 million and a box office take of $7 million.

Ben Stiller: "Envy" with a production budget of $40 million and a box office take of $13 million.

Advantage: Murphy. With one of the biggest box office bombs of all time, Eddie took a wildly wrong turn following his hero, Bill Cosby, down the "Leonard Part 6" career path.

Best Animated Character Voice

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Eddie Murphy: Donkey, in the "Shrek" films.

Ben Stiller: Alex, in the "Madagascar" films.

Advantage: Murphy. Who's ever heard of a beloved animated character named "Alex"?

Who's Blacker?

Eddie Murphy: Is black.

Ben Stiller: Not black.

Advantage: Murphy.

Who's Jewisher?

Eddie Murphy: Not Jewish.

Ben Stiller: Is Jewish.

Advantage: Stiller.

Maximum Characters Played in One Scene

Eddie Murphy: 5 (Sherman, Papa, Mama, Grandma and Ernie in "The Nutty Professor")

Ben Stiller: 1 (in every movie he's been in)

Advantage: Murphy, who seems to be the only one even trying to win this category.

Also Check Out: 5 Questions With "Tower Heist" Director Brett Ratner

Better at Identifying Transvestite Prostitutes

Eddie Murphy: In 1997, was pulled over by police for picking up a prostitute at 4:45 a.m. on Santa Monica Boulevard to "give her a ride home." He was shocked to learn that his passenger was not only a hooker, but also a man, giving him a real disadvantage in this category.

Ben Stiller: To this day, has been deftly perceptive at identifying transvestite prostitutes and, as a result, has yet to be pulled over by the police for picking up said transvestite prostitutes.

Advantage: Stiller

And the Winner Is ...

And the winner of this extremely scientifically judged bout between two comic heavyweights (and physical featherweights) is:

Eddy Murphy!

Sorry, Ben. You just haven't reached the highest highs and lowest lows Eddie has climbed and then fallen down from. But we know you have a "Pluto Nash" and a humiliating sexual encounter in your future, so reach for the heavens!