[caption id="attachment_87995" align="aligncenter" width="500"] Brooke Tarnoff[/caption]
With "Breaking Dawn - Part 1" arriving so close to Halloween, I imagine we'll be seeing plenty of "Twilight" costumes again this year. A popular one for couples with a young daughter -- or, you know, one of those sons who looks like a daughter -- should be Edward, Bella and Renesmee.
What about on the other side of the looking glass though? Just because the "The Twilight Saga" characters live in a world of vampires and werewolves doesn't mean they don't still like to get their dress-up on for Halloween. In fact, I imagine the Cullens make a point to go all out with costumes as way to fit in as your typical (irrationally beautiful) American family. After all, they have lots of extra time to fashion perfect outfits -- not having to sleep and being immortal and all.
If the "Twilight" characters lived amongst us, here's how I imagine they'd be dressing this year.
The Cullens: The Avengers
To be a Cullen is to overachieve. And the most difficult costumes to pull off well are large group costumes. With "The Avengers" movie due out next summer and the trailer dropping so close to Halloween, I bet this vampire family would jump at the chance to dress up as this iconic superhero collective. I mean, they're practically superheroes already.
Edward Cullen: Captain America; Bella Swan: Black Widow
Who better to pull of the All-American hero- type than Edward (ssshhh, let's pretend for a second he's not actually British)? With his cut body and chiseled chin, he makes the perfect Captain America. Hmm, am I spending too long speculating on his "cut body" in a skintight jumpsuit? Yes, so before I start to question my own sexuality again, let's move on to Bella.
Scarlett Johansson's Black Widow will be the only female superhero in "The Avengers" movie. Sure, the old Bella would have been too uncomfortable with her teen body to pull off the tight black leather costume. But she's a confident vampire mother now (I mean, just see above!).
Emmett Cullen: Hulk; Jasper Hale: Thor; Carlisle Cullen: Iron Man
[caption id="attachment_87999" align="alignright" width="220"] Brooke Tarnoff[/caption]
Emmett as Hulk goes without saying. In fact, instead of a CGI Hulk when Bruce Banner changes in "The Avengers," director Joss Whedon should cut from Mark Ruffalo to a green, shirtless Kellan Lutz -– just like the old TV show would cut to a green Lou Ferrigno.
Still the newest "vegetarian" convert, Jasper is the most detached of the Cullens. That, along with his flowing blond hair, makes him a great Norse god-type. Since Thor's not only a superhero but a deity, he doesn't always quite fit in. And while I'm sure the ladies would hate to see Carlisle's face covered by any costume, he has to be Iron Man. Like Tony Stark, he's the "mature" brains behind the group. Plus, I'm sure his centuries of knowledge will help him build (or sew) a really kick-ass Iron Man suit.
Alice Culllen: Hawkeye; Esme Cullen: Ms. Marvel; Rosalie Hale: She Hulk
The rest of the Cullen ladies can't be left out just because Black Widow is the only female member of "The Avengers" in the movie. First, we have to account for Jeremy Renner's character Hawkeye. While it's not a sexy costume, I can see Alice sucking it up and being a man for Halloween. She's the best sport, anyway.
Over the years in the comic books, there have been multiple female superheroes to join The Avengers. Ms. Marvel, in fact, plays a major role in multiple storylines. Despite being the "oldest," Esme's figure can still pull off a Ms. Marvel costume. And in the '80s, She Hulk joined the superhero coalition. With Rosalie's confrontational attitude and her man already dressing as Hulk … I think you know where I'm going …
Renesmee Cullen: Angry Birds
Children never want to go along with the group costume. They want to do their own thing. So stubborn. Now, I don't remember video games ever really being addressed in "Twilight," but with all the time on their hands, I bet the Cullens love to kill some of it playing Angry Birds. And what kid doesn't become obsessed with that game? Of course Renesmee would insist on being one for Halloween.
Wolf Pack: Zombies
[caption id="attachment_88003" align="alignleft" width="220"] Brooke Tarnoff[/caption]
Can't you see Jacob Black saying with a smirk, "Haven't you heard, zombies are the new vampires?"
As his one little slight against the Cullens, Jacob would convince his wolf pack brethren to go dress as a herd of zombies, like those in "The Walking Dead." It's really a convenient costume choice for all of them since their clothing can be ripped up anyway.
And just like every man must dress like a woman at least once in his life to find out what it feels like (am I right, fellas? What?), you can bet all these big bad werewolves would love to slow their roll and live the chilled-out lifestyle of the undead for a day.
Charlie Swan: Charlie Sheen; Renée Dwyer: Jo Calderone
Let me start by saying that I really wanted to make Charlie dress as Lieutenant Dangle from "Reno 911!" How awesome would that be for a small town cop? However, I jut can't see him wearing the short shorts, plus, it'd be too cold in Forks in October. If Charlie dressed up at all, I imagine it'd be very simple. With Charlie Sheen being one of the year's top stories, I bet Charlie would just buy a Sheen-approved bowling shirt and call it his costume.
As for Bella's mom, Renée, I can see her dressing as a different version of Lady Gaga every year in a desperate attempt to "stay young and hip." Last year, she wore a meat dress … which really embarrassed Bella (not to mention made all the supernaturals around her hungry). This year Renée would wear Gaga's male alter-ego Jo Calderone. No one can tell her she should "act like a grandma."
Mike Newton and Jessica Stanley: The Royal Couple
Mike and Jessica attend Edward and Bella's wedding together, right? So I'm not really sure if they're still a couple in this alternant "Twilight" reality that I'm writing in, but I'm going with yes. With Jessica being an another overachiever (what is it with you guys?), I can see her going crazy with the details of Prince William and Kate Middleton costumes.
Eric Yorkie: iPhone; Angela Weber: Yoko Littner
Being a nerd, and I'm sure very depressed about the death of Northwest techie god Steve Jobs, Eric would want to be an iPhone. "But Eric," his friends would say. "You dressed as an iPhone last year." And he'd reply, "No, last year I was an iPhone 4. This year I'm a iPhone 4S. Totally different, dudes."
For some reason, I imagine Angela Weber being into anime. Maybe she's kind of nerdy or just because I'm attracted to the actress who player her, Christian Serratos, and would like to see her in a sexy anime costume. Whatever the reason, I'm going to say she'd dress as this year's popular anime character Yoko Littner. And, I'm sticking with it. Well, unless she chooses to just go nude, like she did for PETA, which I'm also perfectly fine with.