Twi-Bites: RPattz Goes Crocodile Dundee, Asher Jumps Another Rock Brother and Twi-Hard of the Month

[caption id="attachment_40982" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="Summit"]Twilight Dinner Scene[/caption]

Since it's virtually impossible to keep up on all the latest "Twilight" news -- unless, you know, you're a "Twilight" blogger or Godmother Meyer herself -- I'm trying something new with the menu this week, and if you like it, will make it a regular special.

Introducing Twi-Bites, a roundup of the latest and craziest "Twi"-news you and I live for (and occasionally cry over). Try them. They're delicious. And unlike Berry Cobbler, they won't go straight to your thighs.

I'll be breaking them into easily digestible courses: Pattz Stew Du Jour (the latest in Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart news), Unconditionally and Irrevocably in Love (the buzzworthy relationships of "Twilight" stars), Vamp Buzz (industry news about "Twilight" or vampires in general), Glowering Report (celebrities in my doghouse for something they did or said about "Twilight") and Twi-Hard of the Month (self-explanatory; won't always be me).

Bon appetit.

Pattz Stew Du Jour

[caption id="attachment_40984" align="alignright" width="220" caption="Vanity Fair"]Robert Pattinson on Vanity Fair[/caption]

To promote his new movie "Water for Elephants," RPattz has been carrying plenty of water for the media. He appears on the cover of this month's Vanity Fair looking very Crocodile-Dundee-chic. In the accompanying interview, Pattinson claims to be quite boring in his personal life but admires Charlie Sheen. Not because he's "winning," but because, as Pattinson puts it, "I like crazy people who don't give a f**k." Uh-oh, by that logic he could also like Mel Gibson, Chris Brown and Muammar Gadafi.

The chain-smoking Brit also proved his love for American culture. Recently, on a road trip with buddies, he stopped in Lubbock, Texas and found no one in a bar recognized him. He loved the feeling. Unfortunately, word got out and a mob surrounded the bar. No, not with shotguns, thankfully.

More for your Pattinson fix:

Jay Leno gives him beef jerky. Naturally.

Did you know he "tickles the ivories"? Interesting since he stars opposite an elephant in his new film.

He spoke to MTV and dropped the bomb: "I like the kind of cerebral aspect of things, and [Kristen] has kind of an immediate emotional response to stuff every single time." Wait a second, is he saying men and women are different?

Unconditionally And Irrevocably In Love

[caption id="attachment_40988" align="alignright" width="220" caption="Getty Images"]Ashley Greene and Joe Jonas[/caption]

Recently it's been confirmed that "Twilight" actress Ashley Greene and Joe Jonas (seen here on an apparent class trip to Disney World) broke up. Now Asher's been seen canoodling with Kings of Leon guitarist, Jared Followill.

I understand her fascination with dating/canoodling with musicians, but does she only date guys who start bands with their brothers? Is that some kind of kinky thing? In case it doesn't work out with this Followill fellow (which I can't imagine it won't since rock stars are always faithful), here the guys she'll most likely date next:

1. Zac Hanson, young, girlish-looking drummer for Hanson.

2. Liam and Noel Gallagher of Oasis. She won't know she's dating both, but can't tell them apart.

3. Donnie Osmond of The Osmonds. Despite being 53 years old, she'll be impressed by his 2009 "Dancing with the Stars" win.

4. Michael Bacon of The Bacon Brothers. This will improve her rank in Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon.

5. Tito Jackson of The Jackson 5.

Vamp Buzz

[caption id="attachment_40991" align="alignright" width="220" caption="Getty Images"]Stephenie Meyer[/caption]

Stephenie Meyer has been nominated as Children’s Author of the Year for "The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner." In case you've been trapped under a boulder, the novella is a companion to the "Twilight" series, telling the story of a minor character in "Eclipse."

While it seems odd that a vampire author be considered a children's author, book lists don't have a category for the Young Adult Genre. They lump "Freckleface Strawberry" in with supernatural killers and teens fighting for their lives. Jeez, guys.

Though I have to say, it'd be interesting if Meyer could write the next "Freckleface" book. Unfortunately, then Freckleface would probably become a vampire and we'd have to put up with her forever.

Glower Report

Poor Jodie Foster. This two-time Oscar-winning actress was once the toast of Hollywood and one of the town's biggest stars. However, now no one pays much attention to her when she pops up once a year to promote a movie everyone will forget to see.

But Foster made headlines recently... thanks to "Twilight." In an interview with The Hollywood Reporter, she says that when they were shooting "Panic Room," she tried to convince Kirsten Stewart's mom that the young actress didn't want fame and fortune.

"Because she's very much like me … I felt she was such an intelligent technician, so interested in the camera — I thought that would translate into other things," Foster says. I wonder what "other things" she's talking about, directing? Did she imagine K-Stew as a cinematographer? A key grip? A gaffer?!!!

Twi-Hard Of The Month

[caption id="attachment_40996" align="alignright" width="220" caption="LIFE Magazine"]Robert Jackson[/caption]

This month's winner never knew he's a Twi-Hard, but he gave us such a great "Twilight" term that I had to pick him.

Robert Jackson was a Supreme Court Justice in the 1950s. In 1952, he created the term "zone of twilight," which means two powers having concurrent authority.

The term has popped up again due to America's military action in Libya. However, I want to start using it to mean a situation where it's nearly impossible to choose between two things because both have equal but different strengths. It's just like Bella Swan having to choose between Edward and Jacob. Both have significant pull on her.

Here are some everyday examples of how to use it:

"I can't choose between Snickers or Reese's. I'm totally in the zone of twilight right now."

"He fell into a zone of twilight when April and Stefanie asked him to prom."

"The house is burning down! Don't get into a zone of twilight, just chose one of your dogs to save and let's go!"