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A Very Simple Voter's Guide For The 2016 Presidential Election

It's so easy!

This year’s presidential election feels even more important than usual, and many people (maybe even you!) are understandably looking for some guidance about how best to have a say in the future direction of our nation. Should you vote strategically or idealistically? Should you vote for the candidate you love or the candidate you trust? Should you cast a vote against the candidate you want to lose, or for the candidate you want to win? Is it bad to protest the two-party system by voting for a third party? Is not voting at all dereliction of civic duty, or is it instead a vote of no confidence in the system itself?

We’re here to help you by bringing some clarity to the situation. We’d like to suggest a simple way of processing this important decision: Vote not with your heart, or with your mind, but with your soul.

Vote for your hopes, not your fears. And vote for the apocalypse.

Vote for the valley of bleached-white bones and for a sky aflame and choked with ashes. Vote for the cleansing fire, hot and all-consuming. Look! Even now Babylon rises out of the sea riding the back of the Great Beast, and on her brow is death and in her hand is destruction. Let her open her clenched fist and unfurl the great doom of our time.

Vote for the deep things of the Earth to be laid bare, for the Holy Unknown to be made Known, for what is Unsaid to be Said, Sacred and Profane. My brother and sisters, fear not, let your hearts be filled with love. The Great Unmaking is upon us, let it quicken your flesh, for there is no death in the Void. There is no suffering or pain or joy or laughter there, only the infinite silence stretching from horizon to horizon. Vote for the quiet of Nothing and its utter stillness.

Sanders also seems pretty chill.