Which resident of Lakewood do you want to see six feet under?
That question was asked on last season's Scream when a macabre, student-made poll made the rounds via text message. "Lakewood's hottest clique is being murdered. Vote for who you'd rather see on the chopping block: Brooke or Emma," it read.
But why would the student body want to see either of those teens in a body bag? Probably for the very same reason psycho podcaster Piper began her killing spree: jealousy. As revealed in Season 1's heartpounding finale, Ms. Shaw was envious that while she'd been given up for adoption by Maggie, Emma got to enjoy "the perfect life."
And perfect it was -- Emma was pretty and popular, happily dating the school's basketball star until he split (see what we did there?). And Brooke? She was the town hottie, hosting wild house parties and having an affair with the school's TILF. Alas, she could also come off as a bitch -- remember when she practically shrugged after Rachel's death, saying Audrey's girlfriend was "just a trainwreck looking for a station"? -- and that provides another reason why she was included in that chopping block poll (and winning by. a. landslide.).
Now, with Season 2 -- and a whole lot more murder -- on its way, we're conducting our very own slaughter survey. Keeping Emma and Brooke in mind, here are some more contenders for a gruesome demise -- along with all the reasons they may not deserve to see Season 3. Read on, vote for who you want to see slayed and tune in to see what really happens when Scream returns on Monday, May 30 at 11/10c!
Despite some last-minute theories that he was the killer, Kieran cleared his name and wound up in Emma's loving arms. But are we the only ones who still think he may be dangerous? Why was he always packing heat (um, we're talking about guns)? What was the source of the beef he had with his dad, the kindhearted (and eventually disemboweled) Sheriff Hudson? How exactly did his mother and stepfather die? And perhaps most disturbingly, now that he's shipping with Emma, do we really have to coin the unfortunate term "Kiermma"?
We fell for his boyish charm by season's end, but the fact remains: Jake is a felon. HE was the one who insisted that Will continue extorting Mayor Maddox and, to add insult to injury, he told Brooke that the blackmail scheme was all his buddy's idea. Watch your back this season, big guy -- karma's a bitch.
Sure, he's criminally hot, but he's probably also a criminal: As Noah and Audrey discovered, Mr. B was once actually Mr. Palmer, a teacher at a liberal arts college who had an affair with an 18-year-old girl. Their romance was interrupted when the girl turned up dead; Mr. Palmer was a suspect in the murder until he fled the scene, changed his last name to Branson and started working (and banging Brooke) at Lakewood High. Yeah, that's not suspicious or anything.
We saw you burning those letters, Miss Jensen, and we know you had something to do with Piper's bloody rampage. And if that doesn't deserve a Season 2 kill, we don't know what does.
Does anyone really believe Brooke's dad isn't a d-bag? First, he was spotted dragging a dead body out of the trunk of his Porsche. Then he grasped at straws to explain it: According to the mayor, Brooke's drug-addled mom had started using again and brought a random junkie into the house; when the dude OD'd, Mr. Maddox panicked and disposed of the body in a valiant, selfless effort to keep his wife's addiction a secret and "protect the family." Two words for you, Mayor Maddox: Bitch, please.
We can't imagine anyone wishing doom on the fan favorite who once romanced Riley (RIP, honey, you didn't deserve it) -- unless you're easily annoyed by know-it-alls. Or if you stan for Jake -- that time Noah spraypainted "Doosh" on his truck totally ruined a nice ride, but let's be honest, it was classic.
Listen, Mrs. Duval, it's time to talk about the elephant in the room -- no more beating around the bush, no sugar-coating: If you hadn't given Piper up for adoption, she never would have killed all those people. Not that we're blaming you or anything.
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