Trailer Power Rankings: This Week's Best New Trailer Is Freshly Transmogrified for Your Approval

It's sweltering hot in California and everyone's at Comic Con right now, seeing rad new trailers and reporting back all their super important findings -- like who got which action figure, and so on. I know, you're stinkin' jealous that you're not there, and I'm right there not there with you.

This week is a bit of a power play between the all-powerful Oscar lobby and the, uh, lesser fare. The biggest anarchist in the world dumps American secrets and snubs the press, a man goes to church in order to score some tail and Spike Lee remakes of one of the biggest Korean films of all time. Slash produced a horror film that looks terrible, a madcap scientist creates monster/human hybrids during the second world war, and much more.

While we certainly can't offer you live nerd trailer reactions instantaneously, we can get straight to the power rankings. Let us know what you think in the comments below, and as always, keep an eye out for the trailer gods, ask them to make our trailers interesting and fun to watch.

1.) 'Dear Mr. Watterson'

CALVIN AND HOBBES DOCUMENTARY. Everyone loves Calvin and Hobbes! Even though it doesn't look as if creator Bill Watterson himself appears in this thorough documentary, there's still plenty of ground covered from all different aspects -- the impact on social, artistic, professional and historical spheres. Famously financed on Kickstarter (what project ISN'T these days?) this little film may just do amazingly, due to the insane number of fans who will see for sentimental reasons.

Starring: Berkeley Breathed, Seth Green, Stephan Pastis

Release Date: 2013

2.) 'How to Train Your Dragon 2'

Raise your hand if you were totally surprised by how amazingly good this movie was? Yeah? Me too. I was blown away by the story, characters, and it's one of the few animated family films of which I'll definitely be glad to catch the sequel. You know, when it comes out NEXT YEAR. What the heck is up with all these movies advertising over a year in advance? Anyway, all we see in this teaser is Hiccup and Toothless cavorting in the clouds. Cuteness.

Starring: Gerard Butler, Kristen Wiig, Jonah Hill

Release Date: June 20, 2014

3.) 'Oldboy'

NSFW: A remake of the beloved Korean original which is based on Manga, Spike Lee directs this story of a man imprisoned in a tiny cell without explanation for 20 years, who is suddenly released and must stop at nothing to find out why this has happened and make sense of his own life. Powerful, violent, amazing, I absolutely cannot wait for this one. Be a cool kid and see the original so you can compare and contrast the two endlessly, just like your favorite movie bloggers! Elizabeth Olsen, you little minx. Why does she always look so great? Probably just jealousy, but still.

Starring: Elizabeth Olsen, Samuel L. Jackson, Josh Brolin

Release Date: October 25, 2013

4.) '12 Years a Slave'

Pre-civil war, a free black man is forced into slavery and made to suffer innumerable injustices. More like 12 Oscar nominations, ammiright? This looks powerful, moving, devastating and all that, but it also looks like one of those Movies that is Made To Be An Important Film. There's always almost some kind of Achille's heel. But no, the casting looks en pointe with director Steve McQueen's previous efforts, Fassbender, Fassbender, Fassbender, oh with a few other people thrown in as well, little guy you've never heard of called Brad Pitt. Yeah, what's that do for ya!? Anyway, like I said,

Starring: Brad Pitt, Michael Fassbender, Chiwetel Ejiofor

Release Date: October 18, 2013

5.) 'The Fifth Estate'

Benedict Cumber-babe grosses it up a little bit to play WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange. A fascinating look at the man behind some of the biggest information drops in history. Part thriller, part origin story and part arrogant non-apologist at the top of his game, there's plenty to obsess over in "The Fifth Estate". Also, uh, Daniel Bruhl! Always! What a cutie.

Starring: Benedict Cumberbatch, Alicia Vikander, Carice van Houten

Release Date: October 18, 2013

6.) 'I Declare War'

Fake or real? The neighborhood kids are engaged in a battle, but once sticks tied together start becoming real weapons, these kids might be in real danger. Seriously, lots of gore for a kids movie. But what right thinking adult hasn't looked back fondly, wishing their own fake guns would get used? Anyway, nervous to see how this resolved.

Starring: Siam Yu, Gage Munroe, Michael Friend

Release Date: 2013

7.) 'Nothing Left to Fear'

A family moves to a creepy place! The neighbors offer them up to Satan as a sacrifice! Yawn. Slash (who is hoping that people still know who he is and care that he takes an active interest in things) produced this little horror film directed by a storyboard artist and written by a guy who describes himself in his IMDB bio as a "proud member of the WGAW" which, ha ha ha, is kind of hilarious. Run of the mill ripoff of stories that weren't even scary when Shirley Jackson was writing them looks to be mildly scary but mostly just gross and loud. Ugh. UGH.

Starring: Anne Heche, James Tupper, Ethan Peck

Release Date: 2013

8.) 'Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom'

This trailer is nothing but Idris Elba, or tiny little CGI Idris Elba walking along a road in Africa, but maybe it's a symbolic road, cause there are kids behind him running up this road, passing him even. Some spouted off sentimentality. Not impressed. Let's hope the real trailer turns our heads. Walking, pfft.

Starring: Idris Elba, Naomie Harris, Robert Hobbs

Release Date: November 29, 2013

9.) 'Frankenstein's Army'

Oh nooooo! In World War II, a mad scientist creates a fleet of horrifying human/machine hybrids in his secret Nazi lab. They fight people, and look bizarre. Supposed to look scary, I suppose. They really should have made that happen. This looks hilariously low rent, low budget, low everything. Watch this trailer just because it has to be seen to be believed. Groans galore.

Starring: Karel Roden, Joshua Sasse, Robert Gwilym

Release Date: July 26, 2013

10.) 'I'm in Love with a Church Girl'

JA RULE!!! As some kind of drug lord who literally falls in love with a girl who goes to church!!!! I don't know what we did to deserve this, but this is remarkably terrible looking. Might pair nicely with "So I Married an Axe Murderer". This will be the longest trailer you ever watch. Longer and far more painful. I myself looked at a clock about 18 times over the roughly two minutes you'll have to wait. Nothing is as painful as watching these two people rationalize why they're there, on screen.

Starring: Ja Rule, Michael Madsen, Stephen Baldwin, Adrienne Bailon

Release Date: October 18, 2013

Come back next week for more power rankings!