'Snitch' vs. 'Snatch'

Even a minimal amount of research indicates this weekend's action offering, "Snitch," bears a strong alphabetical resemblance to the Guy Ritchie film from 2000, "Snatch". But do the similarities end there? Can "Snitch" hope to engender the type of love we have for "Snatch"? Let's get deeper into this investigation, breaking it down category by category.


The entire plot of "Snitch" has been helpfully spelled out in the trailer, evidently in an effort to make it easier to skip the film altogether. Now that's what I call marketing!

As the trailer makes abundantly clear, Dwayne Johnson has to go undercover to help his son avoid a ten-year stretch in prison. Who knew this was even an option within the criminal justice system? Personally, I would have let the kid stew for a couple of years in the joint before I went all gangster to save him. You know, build some character. "Snitch" looks an awful lot like every action trailer we've ever seen, nothing too special happening there. How about "Snatch"?

In "Snatch" the prize is a big ol' diamond, the game involves fixing boxing matches, and there are plenty of dealings with unintelligible gypsies (Brad Pitt). Overall "Snitch" is clearly a straightforward vigilante narrative where "Snatch" was a multifaceted action-comedy. Take a look:

Advantage: "Snatch"


"Snitch" has Dwayne Johnson, Barry Pepper, Susan Sarandon, and Michael Kenneth Williams from "The Wire". "Snatch" features Jason Statham, Brad Pitt, and Benicio Del Toro.

Advantage: "Snitch," by the narrowest of margins.

Iconic Scenes

"Snatch" features one of the best boxing scenes ever filmed. Before Guy Ritchie went way too slo-mo on us (hello "Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows") he employed the slow motion method in a more judicious manner, with the bonus coming from Oasis contributing the background music. Clearly, this scene will end up being at least thirty-two times better than anything "Snitch" has to offer. You can't argue with that number, it's science.

Advantage: "Snatch".

Running Time

"Snatch" is a full 18 minutes shorter than "Snitch". That time can be used to order a pizza or finally start working on your novel.

Advantage: "Snatch".

Box Office

Adjusted for inflation, "Snatch" earned $111 million worldwide. Early tracking indicates "Snitch" will be fortunate to hit $35 million total domestically, meaning they'll need a big international haul to compete. It won't happen.

Advantage: "Snatch"


There you have it, a resounding 4-1 victory for the little Statham film that could. Still, let's remain hopeful that "Snitch" exceeds expectations, if only to keep Dwayne Johnson from heading back to children's films.

Laremy wrote the book on film criticism would definitely stay down if someone hit him that hard.