And now, a playlet in which the dialogue is composed entirely of 2012 movie titles.
[A guy and his girlfriend are driving around in his car.]
GUY: On the road. Wanderlust! Where do we go now, amour?
GIRL: The best exotic marigold hotel?
GUY: [shaking his head] Safety not guaranteed. The innkeepers: lawless headhunters, beasts of the Southern wild.
GIRL: Moonrise Kingdom? Hotel Transylvania?
GUY: I wish! This is not a film.
GIRL: "Casa de mi padre."
GUY: The cabin in the woods?
GIRL: The house I live in. Safe house, silent house.
GUY: Safe?! No. Battleship! What to expect when you're expecting parental guidance: a thousand words. The guilt trip. Sleepless night. Sound of noise. The impossible hysteria!
GIRL: Hope springs...
GUY: The dictator -- the master -- the man with the iron fists won't back down! This means war.
GIRL: [scoffing] Think like a man, goon!
GUY: [relenting] Compliance. Brave act of valor for greater glory...
[They drive toward her neighborhood.]
GIRL: 21 Jump Street.
GUY: This is 40...
GIRL: House at the end of the street.
GUY: Trouble with the curve... [stops] This must be the place.
[They see someone in the window of the house and squint to look closer.]
GIRL: Keep the lights on. The grey, dark shadows sparkle...
GUY: [gasps] Holy motors! The devil inside!
GIRL: The queen of Versailles??
GUY: My worst nightmare: your sister's sister!
GIRL: The woman in black?!
GUY: Sinister, haywire American animal!
GIRL: Hit and run!
[But before Guy can pull away from the curb, Girl's parents have spotted them and come outside.]
MOTHER: Thunderstruck! Big miracle!
FATHER: Lovely Molly!
MOTHER: Joyful noise! Unconditional good deeds!
[They get out of the car. Girl hugs her parents; Guy shakes their hands.]
FATHER: The five-year engagement...
GUY: Here comes the boom.
FATHER: Playing for keeps?
GUY: Save the date around June. A royal affair!
FATHER: The vow? That's my boy!
GIRL: [whispering] Man on a ledge...
GUY: [whispering] Little white lies. Killing them softly.
[They all go inside, where it turns out many of the Girl's other family members are gathered.]
GIRL: [introducing her boyfriend to everyone] The collection: Jack Reacher, John Carter, Alex Cross, Ruby Sparks, Magic Mike, Wreck-It Ralph, Killer Joe...
GUY: People like us? High school friends with kids?
GIRL: [under her breath] Seven psychopaths. Savages.
KILLER JOE: [shaking Guy's hand] Hello, I must be going. Project X contraband stolen. [confidentially] Kill list.
GUY: The lucky one.
GIRL: [looking around] The other son? Jeff, who lives at home?
MOTHER: Gone chasing mavericks. Two days in New York, flight to Rome with love, salmon fishing in the Yemen!
FATHER: [rolling his eyes] Liberal arts.
MOTHER: The odd life of Timothy Green!
GUY: [gesturing at unmentioned young boy] The kid with a bike?
FATHER: The imposter.
MOTHER: The paperboy.
FATHER: Shut up and play the hits, fun size! "Rock of Ages"!
[The Paperboy commences his duties as DJ for the family gathering, puts on some Def Leppard.]
FATHER: [satisfied] Pitch perfect!
[Girl's sister sidles up to Guy, clearly very drunk.]
GIRL'S SISTER: Searching for Sugar Man. Seeking a friend for the end of the world? Sleepwalk with me??
GUY: [seeking help] Darling companion! How to survive a plague?
GIRL'S SISTER: For a good time, call--
GIRL: Take this waltz, Anna Karenina.
GIRL'S SISTER: [as she leaves] Bully!
GIRL: [to Guy] Girl in progress. Smashed.
GUY: The perks of being a wallflower.
[Meteor falls from sky, hits Earth, kills all. The end.]