RECAP: Chasing Vinny

It was a night of transitions on Thursday's Jersey Shore.

Danny, the crew's boss at the t-shirt shop finally had it with everybody's flakiness (read: producers needed some extra drama), so he went to the JS house to read them the riot act, threatening to hire new staffers who would also become their new roommates.

The Situation and Pauly D's birthday extravaganza also continued into this episode, as the girls planned a surprise party that involved wheelchairs, strippers and alcohol -- and that let the boys to more random sex with bar skanks. Guess getting old isn't too bad a deal, so long as you've got a mean tan, a decent set of abs, and women saturated with Jell-O shots.

Finally, Sammi Giancola broke her boring streak by issuing a beatdown at the nightclub, and the roommates took a road trip to Staten Island to see their favorite missing friend, Vinny Guidagnino.

THE SITUATION (104)

-- Last week, Mike took off and the roomies had no idea where he was. Turns out, he just spent the day feeling sorry for himself elsewhere. I mean, everyone needs some alone time, even The Situation (+3)

-- When he returns home, he admits he's been upset because he thinks nobody is acknowledging his birthday (-2)

-- Little does he know there is a huge surprise party, complete with strippers hopping out of birthday cakes, on the horizon for him (+3)

-- Before they leave for the night, Mike announces, "I want to bring a chick home tonight, so I cleaned up my whole room." Like that's ever stopped him before, but still. We are never against cleaning, especially in this house (+2)

-- He is totally surprised by the party -- and pleased with the edible cake from the girls, which is in the shape of a butt (+1)

-- The Situation picks up a random girl and gives her a piggy back ride back to his house. Who said you don't have to work hard to get sex? (+2)

-- Mike drags her straight upstairs to his (clean) room, and hands her an outfit to wear. It includes mismatched socks and she throws a fit until he gets her a pair that matches. She may not have standards in men, but, dammit, her socks better be top-notch (-4)

-- Unlike Pauly, Mike at least allows his random chicks to spend the night before kicking them out (+3)

-- The next night, all the roomies are going out for date night. Mike calls his main squeeze, Paula, and invites her to go along. He brings her home, and while she's downstairs, he sprays himself and his bed down with an aerosol can. Who needs showers and clean sheets when you have Axe? (-5)

-- When Paula goes home the next morning, he says "There is 100 percent chance that Paula will get a second date." This could very well go in the Guinness Book of World Records (+8)

Net gain/loss: +11

Current total: 115

SNOOKI (65)

-- She and the girls arrange the surprise party -- with an Over the Hill theme, of course -- for Mike and Pauly, and she arranges to have them handcuffed to wheel chairs while the strippers give them lap dances (+4)

-- When they go to the party store to get balloons, she also buys a full-size bunny suit to have in the house, We're not really sure if that deserves points or not... (+1)

-- The party goes well, and for one night, she and The Situation seem to get along (+2)

-- Jionni comes to visit and brings her long-stemmed red roses (+1). His arms and face are so shiny, he looks like he just bathed in baby oil (-3). Snooki takes him directly to the smush room and they stay home while all the others goes out for date night (+4)

Net gain/loss: +9

Current total: 74

VINNY (109)

-- All the roommates show up at Vinny's house and rally him into coming back to the Shore house. This can't be good for him in the long run (-2)

-- He shows the gang his new tattoo -- a huge, scripted phrase reading "Let go, let God" across his chest. Whether of not you're religious, it's a beautiful piece of work that probably hurt like hell (+4)

-- Vinny decides to return to the house, saying he "hopes to continue his recovery at the shore." Good luck with that, dude (-2)

-- However, riding back in the car with the dudes, Vinny claims "I'm gonna get laid tonight!" "Recovery" = sexual healing, apparently (+3)

Net gain/loss: +3

Current total: 112

PAULY D (91)

-- Is excited about the birthday party, and receives a cake shaped like boobs, adorned with the Italian flag (+3)

-- Scores yet another random bar conquest and gets some birthday sex (+3), and, as usual, kicks her out immediately afterward (-5)

-- Pauly is super-duper missing his bestie, Vinny (-3), so he rallies all the roomies to drive to Staten Island and get Vinny back (+3)

-- The mission is successful and all the players head back to the Jersey Shore, where Vinny will hopefully change his sheets immediately (+3)

Net gain/loss:+4

Current total: 95

DEENA (91)

-- All the roommates are going out for date night, so Deena calls one of Ronnie's friends and asks him out. He accepts (+2)

-- Deena decides to wear fairy wings out on the date and asks him, "Will you be embarrassed if I wear my wings?" Let us answer for him: YES. (-4)

-- After the outing, she brings him home and wants to have sex, but an alarm clock keeps going off. She unplugs it, but it continues to go off and interrupt her. Some might call that a sign... (-2)

Net gain/loss: -4

Current total: 87

J-WOWW (100)

-- After the lecture from their boss, Jenni is the only person to make it on time to work the next day (+2)

-- On the night of the surprise party, Jenni's boyfriend, Roger, shows up with an overnight bag. Bom-chicka.bow-bow! (+2)

Net gain/loss: +4

Current total: 104

SAMMI (100)

-- The crew goes out to a bar, and within minutes of being there, Sammi is rolling around on the ground in a fist fight with some other chick (-3)

-- When Ronnie asks her what happened, she tells him some girl yanked on her fresh weave. And being a fellow hair-a-holic, we can totally get behind her anger over that. Some things are worth fighting for (+2)

Net gain/loss: -1

Current total: 99

RONNIE (100)

-- After Danny's lecture, Ronnie still can't be bothered to make it to work on time. "I'm gonna try not to be late for work, but the time on my watch says I'm going to be late for work." (-3)

-- Tries to call Vinny in the middle of the night after the bar and gets voice mail. Somehow, he seems surprised by this (-1)

-- He sees Vinny's new tattoo -- "Let go, let God" -- and says he has no idea what it means. You know, meatheads often get that nickname for a reason... (-3)

Net gain/loss: -7

Current total: 93

SCORECARD:

The Situation: 115

Vinny: 112

J-Woww: 104

Sammi: 99

Pauly D: 95

Ronnie: 93

Deena: 87

Snooki: 74