We’ve got a movie riddle for you…

What do you get when you whirl Nicolas Cage, Nicole Kidman, Priest's Cam Gigandet and The Number 23 director Joel Schumacher into a cinema blender?

Is that your final answer? The next nutty Cage film?

Well, that’s a pretty good guess, given his recent witchy track record. Then again, he and his co-star in the upcoming thriller Trespass (out October 14), Nicole Kidman, both have Oscars under their belts. And the film’s director, Joel Shumacher, has been nominated for the Palme d’Or, the Golden Berlin Bear, and … a Razzie, so there’s still a chance the answer to the above riddle is sane, grade-A (or at least B) cinema.

The official story

As the film's official film site spins it, Trespass is the cautionary tale of the uber-rich Millers (spouses Sarah and Kyle, Cage and Kidman) who dwell in the high-security luxury of a private, walled community. Their daily grind consists of keeping tabs on their “defiant” teenage daughter (Liana Liberto), renovating their mansion, and of course, drumming up more business schemes to pay for it all. Sarah also spends part of her day ogling a strapping young shirtless worker (Gigandet). Soon it becomes clear nothing is what it seems as a gang of thieves led by Elias (Ben Mendelsohn) -- who have been planning a home invasion for months -- take the Millers hostage and demand they hand over all their diamonds and such or suffer “death and dismemberment.” (In that order, according to the site. BTW, is dismemberment still a valid threat if you’re dead?) The “tables turn,” however, when Cage and brood decide they won’t go down without putting up a fight. Because, despite the fact that this synopsis tells us Trespass brims with betrayal, temptation, and deception, the invasion is what brings the Millers together.

It’s not the next crazy Cage flick, it’s the feel-good family film of the year! Maybe?

The Trailer

The Trespass trailer echoes the same high-stakes thriller plot opening with a defiant "Hey Mom, can I go to a party?" from the daughter, as Mom and Dad mill about their slick, modern home. Then cut to masked men making a gangsta entrance -- “It’s my house, my rules … Daddy’s home!” (Clearly the worst kind of robbers are the ones with rapper-sized egos.) Next we’re reminded that Trespass came from the director of Phone Booth and Falling Down (funny they don’t mention The Number 23). Then back to a hysterical Kidman and the huddling family as we’re told the crooks “know what you have” and “what you're hiding,” and they want you to open your fancy thumbprint-recognition safe and get all of it out and give it to them. BUT, they don’t know “that they’ll [the Millers] fight back”!

Finally! Filthy rich Republican heroes we can truly relate to in this debtmaggedon recession! (OK, maybe they’re not Republican -- but we’re pretty sure…) It’s a fast, furious, screaming, glass-smashing, and bloody flick with a wholesome-as-apple-pie family message … how could America, and the world, not love Trespass? We have no idea. You’ll have to head to the theaters to find out.